Let’s face it, once you become a parent, you’re suddenly thrust into the role of a role model. This often means altering your behavior, which can be a real challenge. But fear not! A new book by a cognitive science professor is here to lighten the load. According to him, it’s perfectly acceptable to let a few curse words fly in front of your children. Heck yes!
As reported by Quartz, Dr. Jamie Alder, a linguist and cognitive science expert at UC Berkeley, explores the topic of swearing in his book, What the F: What Swearing Reveals About our Language, Our Brains, and Ourselves. He realized that after becoming a dad, he had started to censor his language, much like many parents who worry about their kids picking up a stray f-bomb. No one wants a call from the principal because their child has turned the classroom into a profanity-laden stand-up routine.
However, our scholarly friend Alder began to ponder whether this self-censorship was really necessary. His research revealed that context matters far more than the actual words being used. He differentiates between swearing and slurs; the latter being derogatory comments that can hurt others. Alder found that regular profanity—those pesky four-letter words—doesn’t lead to any direct harm such as increased aggression or a diminished vocabulary.
While he acknowledges that yelling at your kids using curse words crosses the line into abuse, swearing in their presence is a whole different story. After all, kids are bound to hear things they shouldn’t, whether it’s from their parents, catchy rap songs, or a group of sailors discussing their escapades.
I often tease my partner, Sarah, about her colorful language around our kids—not because I’m against swearing (I can be quite the sailor myself!), but because there’s a time and place for everything. Math homework in first grade is, quite frankly, not the ideal moment for a swear-fest. It’s our job to help our kids understand the differences in context. After all, I can keep my language in check while at work, but a six-year-old might not get that cursing at the TV during a football game is different from cursing in a quiet church.
In short, as long as you aren’t using curse words to insult anyone, who cares if you drop a few in front of your kids? It’s comforting to know there’s scientific evidence backing up our occasional slip-ups, not necessarily to justify letting the f-word fly in the school parking lot, but at least to alleviate some of that parental guilt.
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Summary
In essence, swearing in front of your kids may not be as taboo as you think. A cognitive science professor argues that context is what truly matters, and casual profanity isn’t harmful. While it’s important to teach children about appropriate language use, letting a few choice words slip in everyday situations isn’t the end of the world. So, feel free to express yourself—just keep it in check during the math homework!