I was at my doctor’s office when a nurse, who had five kids and a whole bunch of grandkids, shared a truth I hear all too often: “It goes by way too fast.” And you know what? She’s right. It feels like just yesterday I was gazing into the crib as a brand-new dad. At 24, I was welcoming my son, Leo, home for the first time. He looked so tiny all wrapped up in his blankets, and I couldn’t shake the feeling of impending change. I was a bit terrified about fatherhood, and the uncertainty was palpable. It felt like someone else had taken the wheel, steering me toward a destination I’d only heard about but had no clue how to navigate. Thus began my journey into fatherhood.
My Life Transformed
And it continues to evolve.
From day one, parenting has been a whirlwind of changes. With Leo, sleepless nights were my first monumental trial as a father. Fast forward to now, and he’s 9, where my challenges have shifted to tackling homework and hygiene. In between, there were countless other hurdles.
That’s the reality of being a parent. It often feels like I’m constantly racing toward the next developmental milestone, convinced it will solve the problems I’m currently facing. Take my 2-year-old, Mia, who fights sleep tooth and nail, wakes up multiple times during the night, and is ready to start her day at 5 a.m. I often find myself consumed by thoughts of her sleeplessness while I’m at work, bleary-eyed and exhausted. My partner, Jenny, is in the same boat, trying to keep her eyes open while studying for classes. We often fantasize about the day Mia sleeps through the night like her older siblings.
What we don’t discuss, however, is how Mia, in many ways, is a delightful little bundle of joy. She’s incredibly cuddly, has a knack for saying the cutest things, and lights up when I walk in the door. When I head out for the day, she often peeks through the pet door to say goodbye, and it’s honestly the most adorable sight.
In contrast, my oldest son, Leo, is far more independent. When I try to hug him in the school parking lot, he gives me a look as if I just sprouted a second head. Upon my return home, he demands the iPad, skipping the pleasantries. This doesn’t make him a bad kid—he’s just your typical 9-year-old.
Yet, I find myself reminiscing about when he was as snuggly as Mia. I miss the days when a simple kiss could mend all woes. Now, he’s much more complex. Like always, I can’t help but look forward to the next stage, hoping for a time when he’ll comb his hair without a fuss or finally understand the significance of homework.
What Am I Overlooking?
What I’m realizing is that I often wish for my children to grow up, thinking it will alleviate my current challenges. However, each new stage brings its own set of difficulties, and with that, a pang of regret for what I’ve left behind. I should be soaking up the good moments: the snuggles, the laughter, the times when they still value my advice and prefer my company to their friends. I should cherish that silly, over-the-top giggle from my little one instead of complaining about her sleepless antics and wishing for the next phase as if it won’t come with new hurdles I haven’t even considered.
When Leo was a restless baby, I was juggling college and a part-time job. I remember dozing off on buses and nearly falling asleep standing against walls at work. While I was miserable from lack of sleep, those late-night moments with my son were my only true opportunities to embrace fatherhood, to gaze at his soft little face and feel present in his life. It’s a satisfaction I can only appreciate now, looking back.
So, when that nurse told me it goes by too fast, she wasn’t just passing along a cliché. There’s a warmth to parental hindsight and a yearning for something new in childhood development when you’re stuck in the moment. Parenting is chaotic, and when things finally calm down, you often feel a sense of loss. You miss those cuddly baby days and the hilarious antics of your toddler. I should have paused to fully embrace those moments instead of wishing for easier times down the road.
So tonight, as I find myself up with Mia yet again, I’m going to try not to fight it. I’m going to appreciate her soft blond hair, notice how it’s darkening, and recognize her sweet innocence. I’ll cherish the way she snuggles into my chest and enjoy this stage of her development instead of longing for her to grow up and out.
Ultimately, children don’t stay little forever, and time really does fly.
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In summary, parenting is a journey filled with constant change and challenges. Instead of fixating on the next phase, it’s vital to appreciate and savor the precious moments of each stage with your children.