A while back, I found myself chatting with my friend Jamie about the rollercoaster of parenting, the chaos of everyday life, and the relentless onslaught of distressing news. After hearing my emotional outpouring, she remarked, “You might feel things more intensely than most.” I couldn’t agree more. I’m what some would call a highly sensitive person (HSP)—thin-skinned and deeply empathetic, I experience emotions on a grand scale.
For those who don’t share this big-feeling trait, let me shed some light. And for fellow HSPs? You’ll totally relate.
The Struggles of Heightened Sensitivity
Living with heightened sensitivity means grappling with self-doubt and regret on a regular basis. You often overthink decisions, especially those made in the heat of the moment. Conversations replay in your mind, leading you to second-guess your words and actions. Invariably, you conclude that you missed the mark.
As a highly empathetic individual, your heart aches for a wide array of issues—from societal injustices to the minor worries of daily life. You might find yourself frustrated when others don’t seem to share your level of concern, leaving you to wonder if there’s something wrong with you for caring so deeply.
You often feel overwhelmed by the world’s heartaches, and even by the little things in your day. With a desire to fix everything, you can easily burn out by trying to support every cause that resonates with you. It’s a balancing act of caring deeply but also needing to retreat sometimes to recharge.
The Complexity of Empathy
Empathy goes beyond simple compassion; it allows you to truly feel the emotions of others. You believe in the importance of supporting one another because we’re all in this together. Yet, this sensitivity can lead to inner conflicts. The world doesn’t always present clear-cut answers, and you’re faced with shades of gray that can be perplexing. Occasionally, you might choose to simplify things, blocking out the complexities to protect your emotional well-being.
The Gift of Sensitivity
While being a sensitive, empathetic person can feel like a burden, it’s also a remarkable gift. Yes, our thin skin can let in the negativity—like the heartbreaking stories of refugees or the latest political turmoil. But it also allows us to embrace the beauty in kindness and compassion. I’ve experienced tears of frustration over injustices but also tears of joy after witnessing acts of unexpected kindness. These powerful emotions drive us to take action and foster connections with others.
Practicing Self-Care
For those of us who resonate with being a big-feeling HSP, self-care is essential. Shifting your focus to a smaller circle of close friends rather than a crowd of acquaintances can be rejuvenating. It may also help to take breaks from news consumption and the pressure to stay informed. Therapy or medication can provide support as well.
Most importantly, I’ve discovered that self-acceptance is key. I embrace my identity as an overly empathetic, thin-skinned individual. I may sometimes envy those who seem unbothered by life’s chaos, but I find strength in my softness. I love this quote by author Iain S. Thomas: “Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let the pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness.”
Choosing to Remain Soft
So yes, we might be overly sensitive, but we choose to remain soft in a world that often feels harsh. We resist bitterness and hold onto the belief that the world is still a beautiful place. We channel that beauty and hope into our families and loved ones.
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Summary
Being highly empathetic is a double-edged sword; while it allows for deep connections and compassion, it can also lead to overwhelming emotions and self-doubt. Embracing self-acceptance and practicing self-care are crucial for those who feel things intensely. Despite the challenges, remaining soft-hearted in an often harsh world can foster beauty and hope.