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Teddy Ruxpin Is Back, and He’s More Terrifying Than Ever!
Fellow 80s kids, gather around! One of our childhood icons is making a comeback, but you might want to usher the little ones out of the room before you take a peek—because, boy, is this a wild ride. Teddy Ruxpin is returning, and he’s looking for more than just bedtime stories.
Remember the original Teddy Ruxpin? That talking bear with a cassette player snugly nestled in his back (because that was totally normal) read stories to you in a voice that was both charming and, let’s be honest, a bit unsettling. His mouth moved, his deadpan eyes blinked slowly, and he had the uncanny ability to creep you out. If you’ve forgotten how eerie he was, let me refresh your memory. Shudders.
I can still recall my tiny preschool hands frantically yanking out his batteries each night, convinced he would turn into a murderous teddy bear while I slept. I was terrified that he’d slowly turn his head and watch me, plotting his next move. Ah, the sweet nostalgia of love and fear all wrapped up in one fuzzy package.
Now, the new version is causing my adult self to feel equally uneasy. Introducing “Teddy WhatTheFucksPin™.” As reported by Mashable, the original Teddy debuted back in September 1985. Fast forward 31 years, and Wicked Cool Toys has swapped out the cassette deck for an iPad app, yet the sinister essence seems to remain. His bright blue, animated eyes are now filled with a spark that could just as easily be interpreted as murderous intent. They dart back and forth uncomfortably and change shapes—red hearts, swirling snowflakes, and even a dilated look that makes him appear truly possessed. It’s hard to imagine any child not being horrified by this new design.
This revamped version, loaded with a dash of evil, makes me long for the days when Teddy’s eyes merely moved instead of glowing with malevolent energy. It’s as if a group of corporate execs sat down and brainstormed how to scare kids into hiding under their blankets. Based on the outcome, mission accomplished!
But fear not, Teddy 2.0 won’t be hitting store shelves until August 2017. So you’ve got some time to prepare—maybe even forge a friendship with a local priest in case one of these little agents of chaos finds its way into your home come Christmas.
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In summary, the new Teddy Ruxpin is set to terrify a new generation with its creepy design and unsettling features. While the original brought a mix of joy and fear, the reboot seems to amplify the latter, making it a must-see (or not) for those who remember the original.