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Unless You Have a Picky Eater, Please Hold the Feeding Advice
Whenever I come across an article discussing kids and their eating habits, particularly picky eaters, I’m bombarded with comments like, “In our household, our kids eat what’s on the table, or they don’t eat at all.” This is essentially the “eat it or starve” philosophy, frequently touted as the solution to combat picky eating, or at least prevent it from happening in the first place. As a parent of a selective eater, I’ve received this suggestion multiple times from well-meaning folks eager to share their wisdom on how to feed my child.
In theory, I see the appeal. I completely agree that I shouldn’t have to whip up different meals for my picky child. It’s honestly frustrating and stressful to prepare a meal, only for him to turn it down. Ideally, I’d cook one meal for the entire family, and everyone would happily dig in.
But here’s the harsh reality: for genuine picky eaters, this approach simply doesn’t cut it. Frankly, it’s downright absurd, and any parent in the same boat will back me up on this.
Understanding Picky Eaters
First, let’s clarify what a true picky eater really is. These aren’t just your typical 2- or 3-year-olds who have suddenly decided they’ll only eat bread and cereal. No, picky eaters have displayed their finicky tendencies since they first started solids. They might have been fussy nursers or bottle-feeders, too.
Picky eaters are often physically repelled by certain foods and have very strong, specific preferences about what they will or won’t eat. Many also have sensory sensitivities that extend beyond food to textures of clothing or other objects that come into contact with their skin.
Their list of acceptable foods is often painfully short, and they’re not keen on branching out. My picky eater, for instance, loves pizza—but only from one specific place in town. He could confidently declare that pizza from another location is “totally different,” even if the ingredients were nearly identical.
Picky eaters often come into this world wired for selectivity. My son jokes that he has a hundred times more taste buds than the average person. I have two sons: one is a classic picky eater, while the other is semi-picky at times. My feeding methods for both have been identical—I breastfed them both for extended periods, introduced fruits and vegetables when they were ready for solids, and avoided processed foods for as long as I could.
The first time I offered my picky son a banana, you’d have thought I’d handed him spoiled fish. Meanwhile, my other son devoured an avocado in seconds, clamoring for more.
Strategies and Realities
Yes, I’ve tried every trick in the book with my picky eater. We’ve encouraged him to try new foods repeatedly, as I read that it takes about 15 attempts for a child to really know if they like something. But more often than not, he knew after the first bite and wouldn’t budge.
We even tried the “eat it or starve” tactic, but he’d simply choose to skip meals until we caved (and I could never bear the thought of sending a hungry child to bed). With my non-picky eater, if he rejects dinner, I can say, “Spaghetti and meatballs are what’s for dinner. If you don’t like it, don’t eat.” A few minutes later, he usually relents and eats up.
Actual picky eaters are a different story. They are relentless about their food preferences. If you’ve never dealt with this day in and day out, please, spare us the unsolicited advice.
Let’s not judge parents of picky eaters or assume we’re spoiling them. They didn’t choose this. According to what I’ve read, most picky eaters will outgrow some of their selectivity eventually, though it might not be until their teenage years. Some may remain a bit picky throughout their lives (we all know adults like that).
Progress and Understanding
Over the years, I’ve learned to navigate this pickiness with more grace. I sometimes prepare separate meals if I know he won’t touch what I’ve cooked. I try to avoid shaming him for his preferences; after all, it’s not always something he can control. I recognize he’s trying his best.
And you know what? Things have started to improve. Now, at 9 ½, my son is becoming less picky. He’s willing to try new foods and less stubborn about what he’ll eat. He’ll even eat pizza from a few different places now, including my homemade version! He still has his limitations, but it’s progress, and I couldn’t be prouder of him.
For more insights on navigating picky eating, check out this excellent resource on treating infertility and feeding challenges. And if you’re interested in home insemination options, you can explore more about it here.
Summary
This piece discusses the challenges and realities of parenting a picky eater, emphasizing that genuine picky eaters cannot be easily swayed by typical eating strategies. The author shares personal experiences, highlighting the frustrations and progress made over time. Parents of picky eaters should be supported and understood, rather than judged for their child’s eating habits.