Some Days, I Parent in Survival Mode, and That’s Okay

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Most folks would say I’m quite the social butterfly. On good days, I thrive in the company of friends and family, bringing my A-game as a mom (or at least pretending to). I’m usually present, both physically and emotionally, juggling the roles of wife, mother, daughter, and friend like a pro. But today? Not so much.

Today felt like I was spiraling down a dark rabbit hole. Days like this are rare, but they pop up more often than I’d care to admit. You know those days when you just can’t muster the parent you aspire to be, and you can’t even articulate why? These are the days when you shut out the world, focusing only on the essentials.

On days like this, I’m engulfed. I don’t feel like answering calls or checking emails; the noise of the world is just too overwhelming. All I want is to cocoon myself under the blankets and hide away from everything.

I can’t pinpoint what made today different. Maybe it was my son waking up four times last night from nightmares. Or the fact that our air conditioner has been out for a week. Perhaps it was the miserable downpour while I tried to take him to get his blood drawn, only to have the iPad I brought die on us. Or maybe it’s the anxiety of impending thunderstorms, trapping us indoors for the foreseeable future.

It’s always something, isn’t it? As moms, we get used to navigating the chaos and often rise to the challenge — most days. But on some days, we feel overwhelmed by life’s circumstances. It’s not that we can’t handle it; it’s that we just don’t want to. We crave a moment of retreat to recharge, but responsibilities don’t pause.

The reality is that life goes on, whether I’m mentally prepared or not. Meals need cooking, drinks need pouring, and let’s not forget the endless diaper changes and toys that mysteriously end up in the toilet. Our little ones depend on us, no matter how mundane the task. We do what needs to be done, but often without the usual joy and energy. In those moments, we give them a lesser version of ourselves, and I’ve learned to accept that.

Expecting a mom to be “on” every single day is simply unrealistic. Some days are just rough, and it’s important to accept the highs along with the lows. It doesn’t make us flawed; it makes us human. Perfect moms? They’re likely just putting on a show.

There’s no way these “together” moms are whipping up gourmet meals when they’re on the brink of collapse, or engaging in arts and crafts when all they can think about is curling up in a closet. And let’s be real, maintaining calmness and patience when you feel like exploding inside? That’s a tall order.

On days like today, I’ve embraced the survival mode of parenting, and I’m okay with it. I’m alright serving canned soup and letting my son zone out in front of the iPad. I’m fine with him staying in his pajamas all day, feeding the cat half of his grilled cheese, and leaving a trail of crumbs in his wake. I’m okay with him running wild, turning the house into a disaster zone. Canceling playdates feels justified when I just can’t muster the energy to socialize. I’m even willing to ask my husband to come home early because I’m about to lose it.

The truth is, moms have off days too. We all face less-than-ideal moments, and sometimes we just need to be without the guilt. Tomorrow might be better, but for now, I just need to float a little and not be judged—especially by myself.

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Summary:

Some days, parenting can feel overwhelming, and it’s okay to recognize those moments. It’s normal to have days when you feel like you’re just going through the motions, and giving yourself grace during these times is essential. Accepting that perfection isn’t the goal and that it’s okay to retreat when needed can help make motherhood a bit more manageable.