10 Insights Gained from Parenting a Child with Sensory Processing Disorder

home insemination Kit

Eight years have flown by since a team of specialists diagnosed my oldest child with sensory processing disorder (SPD). Prior to that assessment, I was blissfully unaware of SPD or its implications. Life back then was a whirlwind of chaos—most nights, I’d collapse into bed feeling utterly drained and defeated. The weight of hopelessness was heavy on my shoulders.

Fast forward to today, and our family dynamic has transformed. My oldest has transitioned from a child grappling with severe SPD and significant speech delays to a typical fifth grader who loves to chat (my youngest often jokes that he’s compensating for those four silent years). My youngest son was also diagnosed with SPD at 18 months, but today, he no longer shows any symptoms.

Over the past six years, I’ve connected with thousands of families through my nonprofit, SPD Parent Zone. Many of them are just beginning their journeys, echoing the hopelessness I once felt. To ease their path, I created SPD Parent Zone to offer guidance and inspiration. Here are ten lessons I’ve learned that I share with fellow parents:

1. Have Faith in Your Child.
   All children need someone who believes in them. I’ve always felt that if I didn’t champion my children, who would? It can be tough to maintain that belief, especially during bleak moments, but it’s crucial. Keep believing in their potential, not their limitations. Dismiss the negative voices, and when they see your unwavering faith in them, they’ll start to believe in themselves. That’s where the real magic begins!
2. Trust Yourself.
   Your intuition is always your best ally. If something feels off with your child, don’t ignore it. While doctors and educators are experts, you’re the foremost authority on your child. Trust your instincts and act on them—timing is key.
3. Find Your Tribe.
   The adage “it takes a village to raise a child” rings especially true here. It took us years to find the right school and support system, but once we did, our kids flourished. Seek out those who understand SPD; they are out there. The STAR Institute’s Treatment Directory is a fantastic resource for finding local experts.
4. Perseverance is Key.
   Some days, progress feels like two steps forward and ten steps back. I’ve been tempted to throw in the towel many times. However, regression is often part of the journey. Focus on the progress made, not the distance left to travel. Small victories accumulate into significant change.
5. Educate Yourself.
   Knowledge is empowering! Invest time in learning about SPD through research, books, and conversations with parents, therapists, and educators. The insights gained can be invaluable. Check out the STAR Institute’s Research Page for a wealth of information.
6. Prioritize Yourself.
   One of the hardest yet most vital lessons is to take care of your own needs. Caring for a child with SPD can be exhausting, and self-care isn’t selfish—it’s necessary. When you recharge, you’re better equipped to support your family.
7. Engage in Their World.
   My youngest taught me the importance of joining my son in his world. When he spun around, she would spin alongside him, creating joyous moments of connection. Embrace playfulness and follow your child’s lead; it fosters trust and comfort.
8. View Life Through Their Lens.
   Understanding your child’s perspective can deepen your empathy. Initially, I struggled to grasp why my son resisted certain activities. Learning about SPD helped me see things through his eyes, increasing my patience and compassion.
9. Ignore the Critics!
   Naysayers are everywhere, often including well-meaning family and friends. I faced unsolicited advice from strangers in public, which was frustrating. Remember, you’re the expert on your child. Focus on your beliefs and the guidance of professionals.
10. Practice Gratitude.
    Concentrate on what you have rather than what you lack. Focusing on the positives enhances well-being, while negative thoughts can spiral. No matter the challenges, there’s always something to appreciate. Many would envy your blessings.

BONUS: Hope Lies Ahead!
In the early days post-diagnosis, numerous professionals labeled my son’s case as the most severe they had encountered. It was disheartening. Yet, eight years later, he’s thriving—playing sports, making friends, and attending a supportive school. My initial hopes were modest—just to have him eat more than a few foods and communicate. Thanks to the lessons above, we’ve achieved so much more. If we can do it, so can you!

“Motherhood is about raising and celebrating the child you have, not the child you thought you would have.” — Joan Ryan

October is National Sensory Awareness Month. For more information on SPD, check out this excellent resource from the CDC.

To learn more about home insemination and how it can help you on your journey, visit our guide on the topic.

Summary:
Parenting a child with sensory processing disorder (SPD) can be challenging, but it’s also filled with opportunities for growth and connection. By believing in your child and yourself, finding a supportive community, and prioritizing education and self-care, you can navigate this journey with hope and resilience. Celebrate the small victories and always keep an eye on the positives!