Dear Kids: The Kitchen Is Off Limits

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Around the age of 3, both of my little ones started engaging in a behavior that sent me straight to the edge. They decided to embark on a food strike, barely nibbling throughout the day, then demanding snacks all night long until I finally snapped and declared that the kitchen was officially closed. My current 3-year-old, my charming little tyrant, is right in the thick of this phase.

Breakfast

He wakes me up at the crack of dawn, claiming he’s “starving” with the most dramatic pout on his face. I stumble out of bed to whip something up. “How about cereal, sweet pea?” I suggest. “No,” he replies, deadpan. I offer waffles, eggs, or toast, but he insists on goldfish crackers. We eventually compromise on a few pita chips—three to be exact.

Lunch

After preschool, he announces, “I’m starving!” At home, he demands a chicken patty “cut up” (no bun, of course). Just as I’m about to serve it, he changes his mind and bursts into tears. Next, he wants corn, but it’s “broken” (don’t ask). He then requests a rice cake, but the plate is “too wet.” He collapses on the floor, declaring all food “yuck,” then miraculously devours the eggs I made for myself because “Mommy’s food is the best.”

Dinner

Following the lunch debacle, I take no chances with dinner. I prepare his favorite dishes without asking for his input. The spaghetti? A hit (at least half a bowl). But the carrot sticks are “slimy,” the hot dog is “sticky,” and the cauliflower is “mushy.”

So, when will this little rascal decide to eat something before bedtime? I know some parents follow the “eat it or starve” philosophy, and I totally understand the hesitation to become short-order cooks. But I also get that it’s crucial for kids to tune into their own hunger cues, even if they decide to ignore them at the times we want them to eat. Instilling healthy eating habits is essential, especially with the rising obesity rates we see today.

Yet, if you take this approach too far, your kids might end up living on a diet of nothing but goldfish, toast, and cookies. A little structure is key when it comes to mealtimes.

Let’s be real: Feeding children is never going to be a flawless experience. Kids are fickle, picky, and full of opinions. There will be days—sometimes weeks—when they eat so little and in such annoying ways that you’ll wonder how they haven’t collapsed from malnutrition.

As expected, when my 3-year-old eats practically nothing during the day, he becomes a ravenous beast by evening, finally caving to his hunger and devouring everything in sight.

I don’t know what kind of magic spell kids are under when they hit this phase (trust me, it’s not just my child), but sometimes you just have to roll with it. Reluctantly, I allow my son to have a “snack” after dinner, which often turns into a full-blown meal. He’ll request nuggets, tortillas, or even celery sticks right before bedtime at 7 p.m.

I consider it a phase that will eventually pass, so I try to go with the flow.

But here’s the kicker: Just when I think I’ve finally fed him, he slips into his pajamas, we brush his teeth, and settle in for storytime, only for him to announce at 8 p.m. that he’s “starving to death.” (Seriously, where do they learn such phrases?) This is where I draw my line. Starting today.

I made the mistake of not being firm with my first child about this bedtime eating. For months, he would beg for food after brushing his teeth and getting tucked in. I eventually caved after fighting it, but it became a ridiculous cycle. He was already a skinny kid and a picky eater, so I’d do anything to get food into him.

But for my little guy—and all the other crafty kids out there who’ve pulled their parents into this conundrum—here are the new rules:

The kitchen is closed at 8 p.m. All the lights are out. The granola bars are tucking in their little granola bar babies. The cheese sticks are cozying up in their wrappers. The apples are snuggling in the crisper.

No more eating.

We’re all kind and understanding parents here, but you cannot starve yourself all day and then feast all night. It’s just not happening. And if you go to sleep a tad hungry one night? You’ll survive. Trust me, you will.

And who knows? Maybe you’ll actually eat your breakfast in the morning.

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Summary

Parenting can be a challenging journey, especially when it comes to mealtimes. Children can be unpredictable and picky, often refusing food during the day only to demand snacks at night. It’s essential to find a balance between encouraging healthy eating habits and setting boundaries around meal times.