“You made me a turkey sandwich, again?” my little one asks, his bright green eyes twinkling with mischief, as his tiny frame stands 3 feet tall. “What the heck?”
My heart sinks, and I find myself explaining once more that this word choice isn’t suitable for a toddler. Yes, he picked it up from Daddy. Yes, adults sometimes let a few expletives slip. Yes, both Mom and Dad need to be more mindful of our language.
This routine is wearing me out.
I never envisioned becoming one of those parents who scold others for their language around kids. Yet here I am, a 40-year-old mother, carefully choosing my words to avoid a repeat performance at show and tell when my son mentions the time I exclaimed a certain four-letter word after a frozen chicken took a nosedive on my head.
And it gets even more complicated. Think “poopy head” is harmless? Just wait until your little one shouts “butthead” in public. It makes you want to dive deep into Shakespearean insults. I’d gladly take a “dried neat’s tongue” over that any day!
Every car ride feels like a quiz. “Is ‘dang’ a bad word? What about ‘heck’? Is ‘dang heck’ worse?” Extra points for creativity?
The conversation about language becomes a philosophical conundrum. As a writer, I believe words are neutral, simply tools for expressing our thoughts. Many renowned authors, from D.H. Lawrence to Henry Miller, used colorful language. I’m not thrilled about censoring my child or teaching him to label words as good or bad, except for the obviously offensive ones.
However, societal expectations loom large. Each time my toddler drops a curse word in public, it’s like he’s waving a sign that reads, “My mom is a terrible parent, please report me!”
Some phrases raise eyebrows more than others. “Is ‘Oh my God!’ a bad word?” my son asks, clearly puzzled.
I’m puzzled too. In our mixed-faith home, religion isn’t at the forefront, and I’m lost trying to explain these nuances. My husband and I haven’t figured out how to introduce certain concepts to our kids. I’m sure my toddler has no clue who Jesus is or what irreverence means.
“No, it’s not bad,” I reply carefully. “It’s just something you shouldn’t say casually.”
“But you and Daddy say it all the time.” And he’s right. I’m left trying to rationalize expectations that seem wildly inconsistent. Where’s the line? Is “Oh my gosh!” offensive? Will the morality police show up if I say “What the heck?”—an obvious euphemism? Is it safe if Daddy exclaims “Gosh darn it!” when he stubs his toe?
Then there’s the whole “glass houses” dilemma. Society scolds a toddler for saying “Jesus Christ!” when he just wanted to express frustration over missing orange paint in his art set. Yet, I know plenty of adults, even the churchgoers, who are guilty of this same irreverence. But I digress—hypocrisy is another concept my son is too young to grasp.
So, I do my best to guide my son toward “clean” language, even if my explanations sometimes feel inadequate and the adults around him might use words that’d make a sailor blush. I encourage him to choose “nice words,” consider his manners, and always adhere to the Golden Rule.
And if he crosses a line, you have my sincerest apologies!
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Summary
Parenting is a journey filled with surprising challenges, like managing your toddler’s newfound colorful vocabulary. As parents navigate the complexities of language, balancing societal expectations with personal beliefs can be tricky. Encouraging positive language while setting boundaries is essential, even amidst the chaos of growing up.