Last Friday, like many Americans, I was stunned and repulsed by the leaked recordings of Donald Trump. I was so rattled that sleep eluded me that night, and I spent the entire weekend processing my feelings about it—like a train wreck I just couldn’t look away from.
As a woman, I reflected on my own experiences with harassment and unwanted advances, and I quickly realized I wasn’t alone—millions of women shared their stories, too. What troubled me deeply was the realization that someone so crude and misogynistic had made it this far in the political arena. It was infuriating to see so many people defend him, dismissing his comments as mere “locker room talk,” when what he described was outright sexual assault.
My partner and I spent the weekend venting our frustrations, carefully avoiding the explicit language when our kids were nearby. But my 9-year-old son was curious. He had been following the election closely, and had already concluded that Donald Trump was a racist, homophobic bully. I recognized that it was essential to fill him in on what was happening—not just to support his interest in politics, but because this issue was too significant to ignore.
That evening, I had the conversation with him. I didn’t repeat Trump’s exact words, but I explained that he had used some very derogatory terms for women and discussed abusing his power to take advantage of them. I even mentioned he had talked about grabbing women inappropriately. My son’s shocked response was, “Really?” and then he asked, “Did he get in trouble for it?”
I had to admit that, while some political support was waning for Trump, he wouldn’t face substantial consequences unless there was proof of his actions. When my son asked if Trump was still running for president, I had to give him the unfortunate truth: yes, he still was.
Despite the heaviness of the topic, this led to a meaningful discussion. We explored how terrible it was that such behavior was tolerated and discussed the lessons we could draw from it. It was in those moments that I felt a sense of hope; perhaps something positive could emerge from this grim situation.
Our conversation confirmed that the values I had been instilling in my son—body autonomy, respect for personal space, and anti-bullying principles—were taking root. It also opened the door to other uncomfortable yet vital discussions.
Reasons to Discuss These Topics with Your Children
So, to all the parents who might hesitate to address the Donald Trump tapes or other challenging moments in this election season (and trust me, more will come), here are a few reasons to consider discussing these topics with your children:
- Kids Need to Hear It from Us First. They’re like sponges, soaking up everything around them. If they get the news from a friend, the facts can easily become distorted. I prefer to give my kids a solid foundation of truth.
- Understanding Bullies. Donald Trump serves as a prime example of what can happen when a bully grows up unchecked. Perhaps if he had faced consequences earlier, he wouldn’t have reached this level of influence.
- Dangers of “Boys Will Be Boys.” I discussed how Trump rationalized his actions as typical male behavior. We examined how this excuse is unacceptable and how it manifests even in elementary schools, stressing the importance of rejecting that mindset.
- Understanding Touch and Consent. Conversations about boundaries can be tough, but they’re essential. I’ve always told my kids that only a parent or doctor should touch their private areas—for necessary reasons only. The same goes for them: no touching without permission, no unwanted hugs or kisses.
- Creating a Safe Space for Questions. It’s critical that my kids feel comfortable discussing any topic, no matter how sensitive, with me. I want them to know they can share anything they’ve heard or experienced without fear of judgment.
The day after our chat, I asked my son if he thought discussing the issue was a good idea. He simply replied, “Yeah,” but when I probed further, he articulated perfectly, “So that I will know what not to do.”
So thanks, Donald Trump, for being a role model of what we should all avoid. Let’s hope parents everywhere take this opportunity to teach their kids about the importance of respect and decency in our actions and words.
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In summary, it’s essential to engage our children in discussions about difficult topics like Trump’s comments. By doing so, we empower them with knowledge, instill values of respect and consent, and create a supportive environment for open dialogue.