What I Want My Daughter to Know as She Starts College

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Oh, the bittersweet symphony of parenting! From the early days of changing diapers to the moment of handing over her college acceptance letter, the journey has been nothing short of an adventure. We invest our hearts into raising our kids, mending their scrapes, and sharing timeless stories like “Love You Forever” and “Oh, The Places You’ll Go!” We’ve cheered at band concerts, sat through endless scout meetings, and navigated parent-teacher conferences. Through it all, we’ve worked to instill values and shape their character.

We celebrate what makes our children wonderfully unique. We share laughter and tears, sometimes even shedding a few for them. We’ve survived sleepless nights, art projects, swim lessons, and curfews broken. Holding their tiny hands, we’ve taught them to look both ways before crossing the road.

And then, just like that, they grow up. They spread their wings, and so must we.

I wanted to share the letter I slipped under my daughter’s pillow on her first day of college—a day when my heart was torn between pride and sorrow, clinging to my partner’s hand as we crossed the street to the parking lot. This was the moment I chose to let her embark on her journey into adulthood, a mix of emotions flooding through me. The letter contained the words I couldn’t find the courage to say aloud, and even now, nearly two years later, they bring tears to my eyes. These sentiments are part of our shared story and her adventure.

What might my words mean to you? They serve as a reminder that you will navigate this path, though it may bring some ache and rough waters. But through it all, you’ll also discover immense joy in the growth you both experience during this freshman year.

Dear Lily,

As you prepare to step into your new life at Maple University this week, I’m feeling a whirlwind of emotions. I know you’re excited and ready for this next chapter, and I genuinely want you to embrace these college years as you evolve into the incredible woman you’re meant to be. Yet, a part of me—let’s call it the overly attached mom—wants nothing more than to wrap you in a bear hug and never let go. I know that sounds silly, but those feelings are real. Always remember that you are loved deeply, and my greatest wish is for your happiness. That’s why I’m choosing to let you go, despite my instincts telling me to hold on to the little girl I cherish.

I can’t predict what your future holds, but if I know you, it’s going to be anything but ordinary. Your unique blend of determination and open-mindedness will guide you well.

So go on! Experience life to the fullest. Meet new friends and dive into new ideas. Remember that this opportunity is a privilege, so make every moment count. Take advantage of the resources and freedoms that come with being a college student. Study hard, play hard, and don’t forget: college is about more than just hitting the books.

As you embark on this journey, remain humble and grateful. Not everyone has the chance to do what you’re doing, so cherish every moment—even the cranky professors, the communal restrooms, and the cafeteria food. Each experience, good or bad, will teach you something valuable. A grateful heart will cultivate graciousness in you.

Immerse yourself in your new surroundings, but please don’t forget about me! Call home once in a while just to share what’s happening in your life. I might have a few insights to offer, even if I’m a bit of a relic. I’ve been your age, vibrant, curious, and full of life. I remember the stresses, the insecurities, and yes, the fun. So remember, don’t forget to have fun!

No one loves you more than I do, and nobody wants to see you succeed as much as I do. I’ll always support you, but your future is in your hands.

For now, I will do my best to let you soar.

Love, Mom

This excerpt is inspired by the book “Out to Sea: A Parents’ Survival Guide to the Freshman Voyage.”