When I had my first child, I was all in. I was so there. I didn’t miss a single moment. Every school play, baseball game, soccer match, and lunch date? I was front and center, no matter how much I had to juggle. Because let’s face it: modern parenting has a way of making you feel like anything less is unacceptable. What kind of mom skips their kid’s events?
Forget about personal hygiene, meals, or deadlines—none of that mattered. If my child was performing, I had to be there. But then I had three more kids, and suddenly, reality hit me like a ton of bricks. It became clear that I simply couldn’t be at every single event. And do you know what happened? The sky didn’t fall. My kids still played, danced, and did their thing without me in the audience.
Did I feel guilty? Absolutely! For years, I felt like a failure for not attending every single event. But here’s the truth: not being there for every little thing doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent. Life happens—work, other commitments, and yes, even the occasional need for a nap.
It’s a myth that you need to be a martyr for your children. What they really need is a mom who isn’t running on empty. I’ve missed countless events, but I’ve made sure my kids know that my absence doesn’t mean I don’t care. It’s just the reality of having a busy family life. Kids are more understanding than you think!
So, if you can’t attend everything, who will? Enter the village! It’s great to talk about “it takes a village,” but you’ve got to actually engage with your community to make it work. When I realized I needed help, I started asking other moms for support. “Hey, I can’t make it to the soccer game today. Can you take my son?” To my surprise, they were always eager to help. And next week, I’d return the favor. “If you need to miss a game, I’ve got you covered.”
Every mom I know has needed a break at some point. If that means missing an event, don’t cast judgment. Instead, step up and be the support system she needs, because trust me, one day you’ll need the same.
For more insightful discussions on family and parenting, check out our other post here. And if you’re exploring options for home insemination, Make a Mom is a fantastic resource. You can also learn more about different family-building options at Resolve.
In summary, being a good parent doesn’t mean being present for every event. It’s about understanding your limits and accepting that life is busy. Asking for help and supporting each other is what truly makes a difference.