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The Challenge of Prioritizing Marriage—But Why It Matters for the Entire Family
It’s a late Tuesday night, and at long last, the house is quiet. My partner, Alex, is burning the midnight oil, and the kids are tucked in bed. I glance at my computer, guilt gnawing at me because I have a mountain of work to catch up on. But honestly, all I want to do is sleep. Yet, I also long to see Alex when he finally gets home in a few hours. If I hit the hay now, we’ll just be like two ships passing in the night for another couple of days.
So, I ponder my choices. Isn’t that what life and parenting come down to? Weighing options, prioritizing what’s important, and letting some things slide, all while feeling a twinge of guilt about what we’ve had to forgo. Parenting is challenging, and life can feel like a never-ending uphill battle. Alex works hard, and I put in my share too. We’re all hustling to pay the bills, manage our families, and deal with the adulting responsibilities that we never envisioned as kids.
Every day, it feels like I’m running on fumes—whether it’s time, energy, or money. There’s always something on my to-do list that remains unchecked, an obligation that I’ve let slip, and a sense of falling behind. I know I’m not alone in this feeling. We’re all incredibly busy, maxed out, and searching for time to juggle what we want to do, what needs to be done, and the people we love.
We make choices and set priorities. We decide what we can let go of and what truly matters. We skip happy hour to attend our daughter’s dance recital or let some friendships fade in favor of nurturing those that remain. Our social circles shrink and tighten, and we channel our energy mostly toward our kids, often at the expense of our relationships with other adults. We might go days without catching up with our siblings or parents. We make sacrifices for our children, sometimes even at the cost of our marriage.
During these early years of parenting and marriage, time and energy levels plummet. There’s always a little one needing to be fed, dressed, or entertained. Finding moments for ourselves, let alone for our relationship, feels impossible. We’re exhausted, and there are nights when we just can’t bear to be touched by another human being. Our schedules often conflict, and we find ourselves as proverbial ships passing in the night. Sometimes, I miss Alex so much that it feels like a physical ache.
But it’s in that longing for each other that we realize how vital we are to one another. Time and energy for our marriage won’t just appear; I have to carve it out and defend it fiercely because, in many ways, it’s essential for our family’s well-being. So, I weigh my options and prioritize.
It’s challenging to find that elusive balance. There are no regular date nights or romantic weekend getaways on the horizon. Some weeks, I can count the actual words exchanged between us on one hand because of conflicting schedules. We don’t have leisurely lunches to catch up like we did before kids; instead, we communicate in fragmented sentences while managing the chaos of dinner, homework, and bedtime.
It’s tough to make it all work, but I’m determined to try—even if it means putting my own needs, or even my kids’ needs, on the back burner sometimes. This doesn’t mean I love my children any less; it just means that prioritizing my marriage ultimately benefits the whole family. After all, my family began with Alex and me—we are the foundation. When we’re off balance, the whole family feels it. And when our kids eventually leave the nest, it will just be the two of us again. If we don’t take the time to nurture our relationship now, we risk becoming just a “you” and a “me.” I care too much about our connection to let that happen.
So, despite the fatigue and chaos, we try. We do what we can, when we can. I glance at the clock—it’s late, and I’m ready for bed. Should I sleep or wait up for Alex? Do I choose my own comfort or the bond we share? In the end, I decide to choose us—even if it means dragging myself out of bed tired in the morning.
For more insights on relationships and family dynamics, check out this article from our other blog. It’s an excellent resource for navigating the complexities of family life. Also, if you’re exploring fertility options, Make a Mom offers great advice. For additional information on pregnancy and home insemination, Medical News Today is a fantastic resource.
Summary:
Prioritizing marriage amidst the chaos of parenting is challenging but crucial for the health of the entire family. By consciously setting aside time and energy for each other, couples can reinforce their bond and create a stable foundation for their children.