I Don’t Filter Music for My Kids

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When I was a kid, I waltzed into my aunt’s cozy kitchen in New England, only to overhear a rather intense discussion between her and my mom. Their expressions were a mixture of shock and disapproval as they sipped their black coffee. My little ears perked up when I caught snippets of their conversation:

“She’s so inappropriate, prancing around in that wedding dress on stage!”
“And those lyrics! I nearly died when I heard them on the radio with the kids. So embarrassing!”

The year was 1984, and they were lamenting Madonna’s jaw-dropping performance at the MTV Music Awards while belting out “Like a Virgin.”

Now, let me tell you, Madonna was my absolute favorite. With her voluminous hair, iconic ’80s outfits, and unabashed boundary-pushing, she was a star in every sense. I didn’t yet grasp the meaning behind “virgin” as I belted it into my hairbrush from the comfort of my bedroom, but that didn’t stop me from loving her music. To her credit, my mom didn’t stop me from tuning into the radio, and in a surprising twist, she even tucked a Beastie Boys cassette into my Easter basket that same year. I was free to jam out to whatever I wanted, even if it made her cringe.

That’s exactly why I refuse to censor music for my teenagers today.

Our home is a musical haven. We have tunes playing during meals, while doing chores, and even during our chill time. My husband and I have a soft spot for ’80s hits and country, but we also groove to jazz and appreciate the lyrical art of rap. The sound of music fills our home, sometimes featuring lyrics that might raise an eyebrow or two. My kids are probably more familiar with Sir Mix-a-Lot’s “Baby Got Back” and Tone Lōc’s “Wild Thing” than they should be. And yes, they’ve overheard me belting out Madonna’s “Papa Don’t Preach” and Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get It On.” We’ve even shared laughs while I taught them the cabbage patch in the living room, and they’ve rolled their eyes more than once at their parents slow dancing to our wedding song in the kitchen.

Music is woven into the fabric of our family life, and I firmly believe that a few questionable lyrics won’t corrupt them. When they have questions about a song’s words, I address them honestly. I won’t sugarcoat it; explaining “my anaconda don’t want none unless you’ve got buns, hun” was a bit awkward. Still, that won’t stop me from letting Sir Mix-a-Lot play on the radio — he reminds me I don’t need to do sit-ups, thank you very much!

Take the Hamilton: An American Musical soundtrack, for example. My kids are absolutely hooked on Lin-Manuel Miranda’s lyrical brilliance, listening to it on repeat. Sure, some songs have explicit lyrics and adult themes, but they’ve developed a surprisingly deep understanding of history because of it. They get excited when a history lesson aligns with the songs they know by heart. When King George III pops up in class, they burst into giggles thanks to how entertaining the musical has made learning. How can a few swear words outweigh the joy of exploring history in such an engaging way?

So no, I’m not the mom sitting at the kitchen table in horror because my kids are jamming to “I Kissed a Girl” by Katy Perry or “Sexy and I Know It” by LMFAO. You can bet I’ll be swaying my hips while cooking dinner when Robin Thicke croons about “Blurred Lines,” and I’ll definitely crank up the volume whenever a P!nk song plays.

The music our kids listen to today isn’t any more shocking than what I grew up with, and I take pride in fostering an environment where they can experience the culture and diversity that music brings to life—even if Sir Mix-a-Lot makes it a little challenging sometimes.

In summary, I believe in allowing my kids to explore music freely, addressing questions as they arise, and celebrating the educational opportunities that come from it.

For more insights on parenting and family life, check out this post or learn more about fertility at Make A Mom, an authority on this topic. Also, if you want to dive deeper into home insemination and related resources, the NHS provides excellent information.