Sometimes, being a girl in our society feels like walking through a minefield of mixed signals. Don’t get me wrong; I adore being a woman. I cherish that unique blend of strength and nurturing. I’m proud of the fact that my body created and nurtured three wonderful children. Girls symbolize life, and let’s be honest, it’s pretty fantastic to be a girl.
However, what’s not so fantastic is how society shapes girls’ perceptions of their bodies—or more accurately, how it warps our minds regarding our own physical forms. As a mother of two daughters, one a teenager and the other soon-to-be, I find myself constantly navigating the tumultuous waters of body image on their behalf. The messages directed at girls about their bodies are as varied and contradictory as our shapes.
On one hand, we have the glaringly unrealistic beauty ideals splashed across magazine covers: thigh gaps, bikini bridges, six-pack abs, long legs, and perfectly perky bosoms. With the magic of Photoshop, we’re inundated with images of flawless skin and impossible waistlines, creating an ever-shifting standard of beauty.
Back in the day, I remember idolizing Kate Moss and wishing for a smaller backside, likely because the models I admired all had slim hips and little behinds. Fast forward a few years, and suddenly Kim Kardashian’s curves were all the rage. That was my wake-up call; I realized how these trends were just a fleeting illusion of beauty standards.
My daughters, however, are still figuring it all out. I’ve tried to shield them from these unrealistic images, but they’re everywhere. So, we have open discussions about them. We talk about the reality behind those glossy images and how even the models don’t always look like that in real life.
But the problem isn’t just the unrealistic images; it’s the conflicting messages that come along with health advice. Sure, they hear that it’s vital to be healthy—eat right, exercise. Those messages are crucial and positive. However, intertwined with those are the damaging ideas that equate fat with unhealthiness, and consequently, fat with being undesirable. This perspective is pervasive. I do my best to explain that healthy individuals can have body fat, but I find myself stumped by questions like: What’s an acceptable amount of fat? How do we define normal? How much is too much?
So, we emphasize healthy eating for energy and exercise for strength. Yet, my girls aren’t oblivious. Most fitness gurus don’t flaunt extra pounds. Meanwhile, fitness magazines at the grocery checkout flaunt headlines promising to banish those pesky saddlebags and tummy pooches. While the wellness industry might embrace diverse body shapes, it often only accepts the firm and fit kind—no extra fluff allowed.
Then there’s the body positivity movement, which is wonderful in theory, but also perplexing. Sure, self-love is vital, but claiming, “I love being overweight” isn’t exactly a rallying cry. It seems to contradict the very message of taking care of oneself. It’s a puzzle: how do you embrace your body while also striving to improve it? Talk about confusing.
As I reflect on the messages my daughters will confront throughout their lives, I feel a mix of concern and determination. They currently have a healthy outlook on body image, but what if that changes? How do we teach them to prioritize their health without subjecting them to unrealistic expectations or fostering an inner critic? How do we instill the idea that body fat can be a marker of health, while also acknowledging that having fat is perfectly okay? How can we convey that personal grooming matters while also emphasizing that looks aren’t everything?
And don’t even get me started on the controversies surrounding dress codes that scrutinize their shoulders and collarbones. It’s a minefield out there.
What about swimwear choices? The bikini versus the burkini debate? I see both as symbols of women’s objectification, but honestly, I’m still trying to figure out what swimsuit is most comfortable, flattering for my shape, and not overly revealing. Every woman I know grapples with these dilemmas. Personally, I maintain a pretty healthy body image—surprisingly enhanced post-kids—but I’d be lying if I said I never pondered what I’d change about myself if I could. Is this a result of a lifetime spent surrounded by images of “ideal” bodies? Can women ever feel completely satisfied with their bodies? And can we pass that confidence onto our daughters amid all these mixed messages?
So many questions, so many conflicting signals, and so many opportunities to unintentionally confuse our girls.
Yet, these challenges also present us with valuable chances to engage in conversations with our daughters about these confounding issues. It’s crucial to keep asking questions and having these discussions. Among all the messages our girls will hear about their bodies, I hope the one they receive from us resonates the most.
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Summary
Navigating the mixed messages girls receive about their bodies is a complex task for parents. From unrealistic beauty standards to conflicting health messages, it’s vital to engage in open discussions with daughters and help them develop a healthy self-image. By addressing the confusion surrounding body image and encouraging self-love, we can provide the support they need to thrive in a society filled with contradictory ideals.