I Don’t Need to Speak Like a “Lady,” Thank You Very Much

home insemination Kit

I firmly believe that a well-placed curse word has its rightful place in our world. As a woman, I have just as much access to colorful language, including “fiddlesticks” and “flibbertigibbet,” as any man.

My kids are familiar with all sorts of words, and, I admit, a good number of those have come from my mouth rather than their father’s. Since they’re well-versed in the vernacular, I make it a point to teach them the right contexts for using such language. For example, exclaiming “Goodness gracious!” when you stub your toe at home might be fine, but doing so in front of Grandma? Not so much.

One thing I absolutely refuse to teach my kids is that boys can swear while girls need to “act like ladies.” Absolutely not. That’s a heap of sexist nonsense. We all know women possess superior linguistic skills, and we’re not going to be silenced just because some folks think we should still adhere to outdated norms. I’m sure those Victorian women who appeared so demure were whispering some pretty inventive phrases under their breath.

Women have fought hard for equal rights, and one of the victories is being able to express ourselves with phrases like “doodlehead” and “flapdoodle” without feeling embarrassed.

Here’s why I won’t be adopting the “lady-like” speech anytime soon:

1. Swearing is entertaining. Terms like “sugar plums,” “clusterfluff,” and “butt nugget” are just plain fun to say. I dare you to try saying “Holy guacamole!” without a grin.
2. I trust those who swear. Fellow swearing mamas, I appreciate your honesty. I know you’ll give it to me straight using language that’s colorful and relatable.
3. It adds punch when it’s needed. I’m endlessly thankful for the existence of Samuel L. Jackson reading Go the Heck to Sleep. Seriously, kids, just GO THE HECK TO SLEEP!
4. Sometimes, pain calls for a good curse. When you accidentally close your finger in a door, only a heartfelt “son of a biscuit!” will do.
5. I read a study. It claimed that people who swear often have larger vocabularies and are more linguistically advanced than those who don’t. Absolutely true!
6. You’re not in charge of me. Ultimately, being a lady doesn’t mean we have to hold back from using delightful terms of endearment like “fudgesickle” and “thunderbooger.”

Despite my colorful language, I can still be a responsible adult. I promise I won’t drop the F-bomb around your kids in the grocery store. I’m a selective swearer and usually reserve the cheekier words for appropriate moments. For instance, I won’t bring “crapgobbler” or “holy moly” to the PTA meeting or church. But if I stub my toe? Well, that’s a different story.

If you’re interested in the ins and outs of home insemination, check out our other blog posts, like this one, and for authoritative insights, visit Make A Mom or Cleveland Clinic.

In summary, embracing our authentic selves includes expressing our thoughts in a way that feels genuine, whether that means using a few choice words or not. Women shouldn’t be limited by outdated expectations about how we should speak. So, let’s celebrate our freedom to express ourselves, with or without a few expletives.