Two years ago, I found myself in the master bathroom, giving my 7-year-old son, Ethan, a haircut when he suddenly asked, “Do tattoos hurt?” There I was, sporting gym shorts and no shirt, while Ethan sat on a step stool in his underwear, ready for a fresh cut. This was the first time he had ever brought up my tattoos.
I’ve got three tattoos: one on each shoulder and another on my right calf. There’s a blue sun, an abstract face with headphones connected to a bomb from my favorite punk album, and, regrettably, the Grim Reaper. I remember a moment when Ethan was just two years old. After a shower, I was in the living room with a towel wrapped around me when he climbed up next to me on the sofa. He reached out to touch one of my tattoos, his curious little face peering at the colorful ink that adorned my skin. At that moment, I realized this conversation was inevitable.
My first tattoo, that Grim Reaper, was done when I was 19. When I showed it to my mother, she burst into tears. “Do you know how hard I worked for that body?” she cried. At the time, I thought she was being overly dramatic and stuck in her ways. But now, as I look at my tattoos, I’m reminded of my past—a time when I was struggling. The Grim Reaper symbolizes my father’s death, and every tattoo reflects a younger version of me, one riddled with anxiety and heartache, obsessed with punk music that most people have forgotten.
Back then, the concept of “forever” didn’t seem daunting. I recall a TED Talk I watched about how people envision their futures. Many think they’ll just become slightly older versions of themselves—maybe a bit fatter, maybe with more wrinkles. Looking back, I’ve certainly matured. Now, those tattoos are like ghosts of my rebellious youth, starkly contrasting with my current life as a 30-something dad of three who works at a university.
That’s the tricky part about tattoos. Some folks get inked to commemorate joyous moments—a child’s birth, a carefree vacation, or other happy memories. For me, though, it’s different. Most people get tattoos when they’re young and adventurous, but as time passes, they evolve into someone who might not identify with those old markers.
Like any parent, I want my children to rise above my mistakes. I don’t want them to be haunted by regrets, nor do I want them to remember sorrowful times or poor choices tied to their ink.
“Yes,” I told Ethan, “tattoos can hurt.”
“Why?” he asked, leaning in closer as I continued cutting his hair.
I explained that, just like the clippers move side to side, a tattoo needle goes up and down, pushing ink into the skin. “It doesn’t sting much at first, but after a few hours, it can really become uncomfortable.”
“Will they ever go away?” he inquired, eyes wide.
“I could get them removed, but honestly, we don’t have the funds for that. So, most likely, they’re going to be with me forever.”
Ethan’s expression turned serious. “Forever is a long time.”
“Yep,” I replied. “As long as I’m alive. One day, your friends will probably want tattoos, and they might encourage you to get one too—just like I did. I want you to know, I don’t like my tattoos. I regret them. Sometimes it feels like I’m wearing a shirt I can’t take off. They fade each year, becoming more outdated, and removal feels like a luxury I can’t afford now that I’m a dad. I never considered that at 19.”
“19 is kind of old,” Ethan said, making me chuckle.
“Yeah, I used to think so too.”
As I continued trimming his hair, I noticed his soft skin and that innocent spirit. It reminded me of my own childhood and why my mother wept when she saw my tattoo. She wanted me to remain that unblemished little boy, just like Ethan. For the first time, I comprehended her tears.
“Does all this make sense?” I asked.
Ethan looked up with his bright blue eyes and half a head of hair and replied, “Not really.”
“That’s okay,” I smiled. “I’m still figuring it out, too.”
In the end, I hope my son understands that if he ever decides to get tattoos, they should represent something positive in his life, not regrets or pain. If you’re interested in learning more about home insemination, check out this informative resource here. Additionally, for those considering their options, this site is an authority on the topic, and WebMD offers excellent resources for pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary:
As a parent, I reflect on my tattoos and the regret they carry, wishing to spare my children the same mistakes. Tattoos may seem like a fun idea in youth but can become reminders of past struggles. I hope my son understands the importance of choosing meaningful ink, and I’m still navigating my feelings about my own choices.