How to Support Your Partner Through Postpartum Depression and Anxiety

When I received my diagnosis of postpartum depression and anxiety after welcoming my third little one, it felt like a dark cloud had settled over my world. It’s a daunting label that’s all too often tied to tragic stories, leaving loved ones to pick up the pieces.

My partner, Alex, was understandably scared—no, he was downright petrified. He knew I was seeing a therapist and starting medication, but felt helpless. How do you combat something as overwhelming as postpartum depression? To our surprise, there are plenty of ways a spouse can provide meaningful support through this difficult journey. It won’t be a walk in the park, but with love and understanding, you can help your partner navigate this storm.

Validate Her Feelings

When those dark thoughts creep in, she can’t just will them away. They can be brutal, whispering lies that she’s a bad parent or unworthy. Instead of trying to counter her pain with logic, try something like, “I’m really sorry you’re feeling this way. That sounds incredibly tough.” Acknowledging her feelings can create a safe space where she feels understood.

Trust the Therapist

Your partner’s therapist is trained to help her through this. While you may have concerns, questioning her treatment choices isn’t productive. If you’re curious about her plan, suggest sitting in on a session to gain insight. Just be supportive—she’s the one in the driver’s seat.

Help with Medication Decisions

If she’s on medication, help her navigate the breastfeeding dilemma. Some meds are compatible with nursing, and others aren’t. Do your research, share what you find, and ultimately support her decision, whatever it may be. I chose to breastfeed while on medication, and knowing Alex was in my corner made all the difference.

Ease Up on the Reminders

Asking, “Did you take your pills today?” can come off as patronizing, even if that’s not your intent. Instead, consider setting up a pill organizer or a phone reminder—something that doesn’t feel like another thing to be judged for.

Let Her Rest

After a long day of parenting or working, she needs some serious downtime. Take the baby and any older children for a bit so she can catch up on sleep. Rest is essential for recovery, and you can help give her that precious time to recharge.

Cook for Her

Cooking can be a major stressor, so take charge of meal prep. It doesn’t need to be gourmet; just focus on healthy options that nurture her body and mind. By taking over this role, you’re removing a burden from her shoulders, allowing her to focus on getting better.

Chill the Screen Time Restrictions

When you need some couple time, don’t hesitate to relax the rules for older kids. A little extra screen time can buy you both some much-needed downtime. Put on a fun movie and enjoy some relaxation together—it can work wonders for your connection.

Don’t Forget Date Night

Even if she’s feeling down about her postpartum body, it’s essential to carve out time for just the two of you. Whether it’s a fancy dinner or a casual outing, getting out together can be revitalizing. You might have to coax her into it, but she’ll appreciate the effort in the end.

Babywearing to the Rescue

Invest in a good baby carrier. It can make a world of difference, allowing you to keep the baby close while freeing up your hands to tackle household tasks. Knowing that Alex could wear our little one while I took a breather was a game changer.

Consider Housekeeping Help

While it may not be feasible every day, hiring someone to help with cleaning once a week can alleviate stress. A tidy home can significantly boost her spirits and allow you both to focus on what truly matters—her recovery.

Remember to Care for Yourself Too

Supporting someone with postpartum depression and anxiety is exhausting. Make sure you’re taking care of yourself, too. Don’t hesitate to ask for help or admit when you’re feeling burnt out. You can’t pour from an empty cup.

Your partner needs your support now more than ever. Your involvement can truly impact her healing journey, making a significant difference for the whole family.

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In summary, supporting a spouse through postpartum depression and anxiety requires patience, understanding, and a willingness to step up in various ways. From validating feelings to helping with everyday tasks, your involvement is crucial.