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When You’re a Mom of a Toddler Who Isn’t Speaking Yet
You know the type — maybe you’ve even been that mom — at the playground, the museum, the grocery store, or the library story time. You spot another toddler, about the same size as your own, and the wheels start turning. You observe them closely, listen to their chatter, and wonder if they’ve started talking. You gauge how many words you can decipher and then casually engage the parent in conversation.
You steer the chat towards the ages of the children, secretly hoping that if their little one is talking, they’re older than yours — your little one, who hasn’t managed to string together a single word yet.
I know that feeling all too well. My daughter, Emily, is 23 months old, brimming with energy, curiosity, and love. We live in a small town with just 1,000 residents, so her interactions with other kids mainly happen at church, the park, or the local library. Recently, while visiting Grandma, we were surrounded by toddlers everywhere.
Everywhere I turned, I was bombarded with the sounds of other toddlers chatting away. At the playground, they shouted, “Watch me! Slide! Swing!” During story time, they eagerly answered the librarian’s questions. On the walking trail, they exclaimed, “Look, water!” At the kids’ museum, they claimed toys with a loud “Mine!”
And with every word I heard, the absence of my child’s voice felt louder.
My mom often reminds me that babies and toddlers don’t follow the parenting books; they reach milestones in their own time. Charlotte didn’t crawl until she was a year old, which felt like an eternity, especially while scrolling through social media, watching friends’ babies scuttle around.
Now, her silence feels more personal. I can’t help but think it’s my fault, especially as a mom who adores words and storytelling. I wonder if I should’ve read her one more bedtime story, taught her sign language, taken her to more toddler activities, or spent extra time chatting with her. And the list goes on, until I realize I’m missing the beauty of the moment — I forget to truly see her and appreciate her for who she is right now.
In my focus on what she isn’t doing, I’ve overlooked the incredible things she is doing. It’s not easy, I admit. I long to hear her say “Mama.” I want to know her voice, to hear how she describes the world around her.
But even in the absence of her words, I witness so much. I see her showering love on our dog, eagerly reaching for her books first thing in the morning. I watch her turn pages and laugh while reading, her little hands raised in excitement at story time. I see her offer hugs to other toddlers and fold her hands in prayer when we say, “Let’s pray.” I notice her run to the watering can when it’s time to tend to the garden, leading me to the cherry tomato plants whenever we step outside. I see her cheer for her dad during Sunday service, wave at passing cars and people, and curiously pick up leaves and sticks to examine. And I feel her warmth as she wraps her arms around me in a big hug.
I see. I see. I see — so much.
By shifting my focus away from her lack of speech, I open my eyes to the wonder and curiosity she embodies. I still find myself curious about the ages of other toddlers and listen for their words, eagerly anticipating the day when Emily will finally speak.
But until that day comes, I’ll continue to cherish every moment spent with her, soaking in the joy of her presence.
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Summary
This article reflects on the experience of being a mother to a toddler who hasn’t started speaking yet. It highlights the common feelings of comparison and worry, while also celebrating the unique qualities and milestones of the child that may go unnoticed. By shifting focus from what is lacking to the beauty of everyday moments, parents can appreciate their child’s development in a deeper way.