In recent years, I’ve noticed a troubling trend: a group of grinches seems determined to steal our holidays. You might not have noticed their sneaky tactics, but they’re certainly at work…
This time of year marks the beginning of their campaign against the Big Three (Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas). They despise the joy these holidays bring, but what really gets under their skin is the indulgence that comes with them.
Before you know it, we’re inundated with advice like “stick to the vegetable platter.” Seriously? That veggie tray at a party is a slap in the face to those of us who believe in celebration. You can cleanse for weeks before the party, but when you arrive at my gathering, you better come ready to feast!
I refuse to let these holiday haters win. I envision myself as a warrior, channeling my inner Braveheart: “They may take our lives, but they’ll never take our holidays!”
Sure, I agree that some festivities have gone a bit overboard and could use a reality check. If I have to create one more leprechaun trap for St. Patrick’s Day, I might just lose it. But I’m talking about Halloween here, people!
Remember when Halloween was simple? Back in the days before social media turned everyone into a crafting expert? When Pinterest didn’t set unrealistic expectations? No one was turning carrots into spooky fingers or crafting pumpkins from clementines and celery. And let’s not even talk about those “boo-tiful” bananas!
No, back in the day, we stuffed ourselves silly with Butterfingers, ghost-shaped marshmallows, candy corn, and all sorts of deliciously processed treats. That’s right—processed!
So how do I plan to celebrate Halloween? I’m going full retro! I’m going to teach my kids the ABCs of Halloween fun: A) Always trick-or-treat in affluent neighborhoods (obviously). B) Binge eat (repeat as necessary). C) Coconut candy? Pass! We’ll hit up the houses that hand out the big Costco bars (you know, the whole candy bars) and maybe even egg the houses that try to give us homemade treats or—gasp—raisins. I swear, raisins on Halloween could spark a zombie apocalypse!
As their mom, I’ll make sure they pick out my favorites when possible (a girl’s gotta get her rewards, right?). We’ll munch on candy as we stroll from house to house because that’s essential for energy. Once we get home, we’ll dump the haul on the floor, count it up, and keep eating! I’ll be there to comfort them through the inevitable sugar crash and to watch Hotel Transylvania long past their bedtime. We’re rebels—imagine me with my warrior paint!
Sure, the next day we’ll get back to normal. I’ll portion out the candy sensibly and donate the rest to the doctor’s office. We’ll eat clean, follow the rules, and reintegrate into society.
But it’s just one day, folks. One day! And we’re going to treat this holiday the way it deserves.
Are you with me? Check out what our real-life parenting experts, Sarah and Mark, have to say about this in their insightful podcast episode. And if you’re interested in more tips, this is one of our other blog posts that you might find helpful.
In summary, let’s bring back the joy of Halloween by embracing the fun and indulgence that comes with it. Forget about the veggie trays and homemade treats—this is a day for candy and carefree enjoyment!