Today, I did something I promised myself I’d never do: I stepped on the scale while my daughter was watching.
It was a mindless act. I tapped the scale to wake it up, tossed aside my pajamas, and hopped on. That’s when I caught sight of her big brown eyes fixed on me. Oh no, I thought.
Before she was born, I had grand plans of raising her without the burden of body image issues that plague so many women. I envisioned us celebrating our bodies as incredible instruments that help us navigate life. I dreamed of using words like “strong” and “capable” instead of “skinny” and “pretty.” I was determined to break the cycle of female body shame by demonstrating self-love, no matter my size. But, you know what they say about the best-laid plans…
Life happened. I lost countless hours of sleep, survived 8,500 diaper changes, and did 5,000 loads of laundry, all while juggling a mountain of spit-up-stained shirts. Somewhere along the way, I lost my way. As I struggled with my post-baby figure, little comments began to slip out. “Mommy used to fit in these pants,” I muttered while wrestling with a zipper. “Before you came along, kiddo, Mommy had a waist,” I sighed as I rummaged through my laundry pile for something that would hide my new shape. I inadvertently taught her that my body was something to analyze, compare, or change.
Then this morning happened. I stepped on the scale like I’d done a thousand times before, ever since a certain ex-boyfriend felt compelled to inform me at 20 that I was “fat” (real charmer, that one).
But those little eyes… I realized, sweet pea, that to you, I’m perfect. My tired, sagging breasts are your five-star gourmet meal. My soft, rippled belly was home for you during your most vulnerable months. My neck is just the right size for your tiny arms to wrap around. You don’t care what the scale says or the size on my jeans; I’m your mom, and you think I’m amazing (at least until you hit your teenage years, then all bets are off).
And I think you’re perfect too. I see your quick smile and strong legs. I watch you fight to master the amazing body you’ve been given, and I feel your joy when you grasp that toy just out of reach.
So instead of vowing to hide my body image struggles from you — a promise I clearly can’t keep — I’m making a new commitment. I promise to be honest. I’ll tell you that the world can sometimes be cruel to women about their appearances. Some people will try to convince us that our worth is tied to our looks, focusing on the length of our legs, the size of our waists, and the measurements of our curves. These people could be on TV, in magazines, or even in positions of power.
But I will also teach you that these views are misguided. Anyone who objectifies women isn’t worth your time or attention. Everyone — regardless of gender, size, or color — deserves to take up space, be heard, and be valued for who they are, not how they look.
Instead, I’ll show you a world filled with genuine, uplifting people. Those who celebrate each other’s successes and support one another through challenges. People who care more about kindness and intelligence than appearances. Luckily, we have plenty of those folks in our lives.
Yes, I sometimes struggle to find peace in a world that says I’m too much of something. But pretending that I don’t feel these pressures won’t help you when they come your way.
So, kiddo, here’s my promise: I’ll be real with you. I’ll admit that while I am a strong, capable woman, I still feel the weight of societal expectations. And I’ll show you that true beauty has little to do with numbers and everything to do with kindness, intelligence, and strength. Plus, I might even let you watch me take a sledgehammer to that pesky scale.
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Summary
In this heartfelt piece, a mother reflects on her struggles with body image and her desire to raise her daughter without passing on negative self-perceptions. She acknowledges the societal pressures women face regarding appearances and commits to being honest with her daughter about her experiences. The mother emphasizes the importance of valuing kindness and strength over superficial standards.