I Thought I Knew Love — Until I Became a Parent

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I thought I understood what love was all about. I adore my partner—Mark—and we’ve been navigating life together for nearly 11 years. We’ve seen each other in all kinds of states: sick, hungover, grumpy, and exhausted. We’ve dealt with some pretty quirky habits and endured each other’s annoying traits. Yet, every single day, we choose each other, even when we bicker or get on each other’s nerves. We share core values, even if we don’t see eye to eye on every little detail. We can make each other laugh until tears stream down our faces. We support each other’s dreams and do everything possible to help them flourish. This love is ours; it’s not perfect, but it’s genuine, and it deepens with each passing day. I thought I knew love. I really did.

But boy, was I mistaken. That love? It’s fantastic, but it didn’t prepare me for the overwhelming, soul-stirring love I would feel for my child. It’s not a matter of loving my child more; it’s just that the intensity is off the charts! Perhaps it’s because I have this fierce urge to protect him—from the harsh realities of life, to shield his innocence for as long as I can. As he grows, he’s still so vulnerable in so many ways, and he needs me as his guiding light.

Yes, my love for Mark runs deep, but my love for our little one? It’s like a million times deeper. Maybe it’s because I carried him inside me and witnessed him take his first breath. It feels as if he’s a piece of my heart crawling around outside my body. It’s a love so powerful it aches, as if my heart might burst from the sheer magnitude of it.

As I watch him grow, I see the world anew through his innocent eyes—full of wonder and curiosity. He reminds me of the beauty we often overlook. I’m learning to smile at strangers instead of frowning. He brings out a softer, more loving side of me, and that makes my love for him grow.

He looks at me like I’m the best thing since sliced bread! Even when I’m in my pajamas, hair a mess, and sporting morning breath, he only cares that I play peek-a-boo or tickle his little belly until he giggles uncontrollably. Those moments fill me with a sense of purpose; no matter what else I do in life, I know I’m getting this part right. I’m pouring all my love into this child.

As we age, love can become intricate. We find ourselves worrying about mortgages, jobs, and the endless quest for healthy living—who knew that eating kale could be so complicated? All these stresses can wear us down, leading us to take it out on our partners when they say something that rubs us the wrong way. Romantic love is thrilling, but it can be weighed down by life’s demands.

But the love I have for my child? For now, it’s straightforward. I know it will get complicated as he grows—he’ll argue, be stubborn, and misbehave. But for now, it’s mostly delightful. He’s full of hugs, kisses, and laughter. He crawls to me the moment he sees me, even after just a short absence. Each time, I feel that same heart-bursting love, that fierce protectiveness. That part will never waver. I’ll always stand guard over him. I genuinely believe he’s a beautiful blend of me and Mark; that makes him the absolute best of both worlds.

Sure, there will come a day when he drives me as crazy as Mark does, and I think that’s a good thing. It means that even through the chaos, love prevails. We love despite each other’s quirks and flaws. The moment I first laid eyes on him, my world flipped upside down in the most wonderful way. One thing became crystal clear: I was destined to love this child. No matter how much he frustrates or annoys me, my love for him will never falter.

I’m committed to loving this little one with everything I have for as long as I’m able. He’s teaching me, day by day, that the best kind of love is the unconditional kind, which flourishes long after life’s challenges try to shake it.

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Summary:

This piece reflects on the transformative power of love as experienced by a mother. While the author starts off by sharing her deep love for her partner, she soon realizes that the love she feels for her child is an entirely different, more intense experience. The narrative explores the simplicity and purity of parental love compared to the complexities of adult relationships, highlighting the joy, challenges, and unconditional nature of loving a child.