Friends who have known me for years can attest that my perspective has undergone a significant transformation in recent times. I believe this evolution is essential; being receptive to change is a crucial aspect of adulting.
Before I welcomed my third child—a daughter—my mindset was already beginning to shift. Prior to grasping the true meaning of feminism, I confidently declared that I was not one. I had the misguided notion that feminists were the ones ruining things for the rest of us, with their bra-burning antics and their complaints about men holding doors open. I pictured feminists as perpetually angry women who simply loved to take jabs at men.
I enjoy having doors opened for me. I appreciate my bras. I like men. And I love being a girl.
Here’s a little secret: Once upon a time, I actually told friends that I didn’t believe a woman could ever run the United States. I know, I said it. It’s embarrassing to admit, but I genuinely thought that. “Men are better at that stuff,” I proclaimed. What was I thinking? I cringe every time I recall that moment, but it’s important to the context of my journey.
Fortunately, I’ve been surrounded by incredibly patient and intelligent friends who didn’t abandon me after I made such a ridiculous statement. They helped me understand that feminism doesn’t mean rejecting femininity or wanting to be treated as anything less than a respected woman. Feminism is about embracing one’s gender and celebrating it. Feminists believe girls can achieve anything, deserve equal pay and opportunities, and encourage one another to be fearless and bold.
Some feminists, like me, choose to leave their draining corporate jobs to focus on raising families. Others decide to forgo marriage and children to travel the world. Feminism is about making choices that resonate with us because women are fully capable of making our own decisions. End of story.
Not only did I come to identify as a feminist, but I also realized that it’s my responsibility to raise my three kids to recognize and believe in the strength of women. That’s no small task, but it’s one I’ve embraced wholeheartedly. Teaching my daughter to be courageous and assertive has been one of the highlights of motherhood. Watching her stand up for herself instead of shrinking away from challenges fills me with pride.
For example, on Halloween, we took the kids trick-or-treating in a friend’s neighborhood. A little boy named Max, who was five years old and dressed as a policeman, was cruising down the sidewalk in a huge, battery-powered cop car. My daughter, Lily, walked up to him and tugged on the passenger door. “I want a ride,” she announced.
All the adults around cooed, “Look at her! The little ladybug wants a ride! How adorable!” Max’s mom leaned over and moved the Halloween candy from the seat. Lily opened the door and climbed in, turning to Max and declaring loudly, “You’re in my seat.”
Max looked confused, so she spoke up again, louder: “You’re in my seat.” Thus began an epic stare-down between the two of them. He seemed unsure, maybe even a bit intimidated, while she looked ready to assert her right to the driver’s seat. I couldn’t help but stifle my laughter as I noticed Max’s parents panicking, witnessing their son being bossed around by a girl in front of everyone. After a moment, Max relented and let Lily take the wheel.
She settled in and immediately revved the engine, and I thought to myself that I’d never been prouder.
As we navigate this journey of parenthood, I’m committed to teaching my children about the power of women. It’s important for them to understand that girls can, and should, take charge of their own narratives. If you want to learn more about feminism or parenting, check out this intriguing post on home insemination. For those interested, Make a Mom offers great resources on fertility, and the CDC provides excellent information on pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, my journey from rejecting feminism to embracing it has been profound. I’m now dedicated to raising my kids with a deep understanding of women’s strength and capabilities.