Dad’s Hilarious Tale Highlights the Chaos of Birth for Men

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Updated: Jan. 16, 2017
Originally Published: Nov. 7, 2016

One dad’s amusing recount of his wife’s labor has taken the internet by storm for its sheer comedy.

Sharing birth stories has become a rite of passage for new moms. Whether you’re at a baby music class, the playground, or even stuck in a slow-moving grocery line, you’ll find yourself swapping tales of delivery. Like telling spooky stories around a campfire, it can be both entertaining and a little nerve-wracking to hear about others’ experiences while sharing your own.

But it’s crucial to remember that while moms are doing the heavy lifting—literally—their partners are right there in the delivery room, often feeling just as overwhelmed.

Jake Thompson, known as DadDude online, demonstrated this perfectly in a hilarious Facebook post where he shared his perspective on the birth of his son, Leo.

“I’ve always thought I was pretty calm in a crisis,” he writes. “But the moment I got the call that my wife’s water had broken, everything changed. The thrill of impending fatherhood vanished because holy crap, a tiny human was about to emerge from my wife!” Jake’s brutally honest account of his sheer panic during labor resonates with many parents.

Jake scored major points with his wife by racing to the hospital once the contractions kicked in, ignoring the speed limit like a true champion. However, upon arrival, he realized he wasn’t the only one feeling the pressure. “I parked as fast as I could, rang the buzzer like mad, threw her in a wheelchair, and sprinted to the maternity ward like I was in the Olympics,” he wrote. “And then this lady casually strolls over and opens the door for us! I just put on a performance worthy of Usain Bolt, and she acted like it was a casual book club meeting.”

He also candidly described how childbirth is far messier than what those birthing classes prepare you for. “You don’t really grasp what love is until you’re hosing down your naked partner with warm water in front of strangers. This was like something off the Discovery Channel. All bets were off, and dignity? Gone!” Okay, maybe not the sentiment you’d want in your anniversary card, but kudos to him for being there when his wife needed him most.

Jake was spot on when he noted how those birthing classes didn’t quite prepare him for the real deal. “When your wife’s arm-crushing grip is coupled with her demonic demands for an epidural, and you realize it’s too late… well, you’re in trouble. Let’s be real, those classes didn’t teach me a damn thing,” he admits. “We should’ve been watching ‘The Exorcism of Emily Rose.’ At least then, I would’ve known what to expect and brought some holy water just in case.”

In the end, baby Leo arrived healthy, and Jake described the experience as both beautiful and chaotic. He believes that other dads-to-be have every right to feel nervous. “If you know any guys pretending they’re not anxious, tell them they should be very freaking nervous. Or send them my way. I’m a pro now.”

This article was originally published on November 7, 2016.

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Summary:

Jake Thompson’s funny take on his wife’s labor illustrates the chaos men experience during childbirth. From racing to the hospital to the messy reality of delivery, his story resonates with many dads-to-be. It’s a refreshing reminder that while moms are the ones giving birth, dads have their share of panic and humor in the process.