I shed tears over spilled milk. Whoever claimed it was pointless clearly hasn’t been in my shoes.
It was the third spill of the day, making it at least the 99th overall. This included a box of Cheerios, a crayon container (which led to one masterpiece in my daughter’s homework), my makeup bag (my trendy teal eyeliner looked quite different on my 4-year-old’s nose than it does on my eyelid), a whole box of blocks, the contents of my purse, a pricey organic baby yogurt, and of course, toothpaste — how is it possible that in today’s world of technology and innovation, no one has come up with a childproof toothpaste tube? Seriously! Oh, and let’s not forget the entire shelf of snacks that my toddler tried to climb to reach the Goldfish.
So, you get my drift. I cried over that cup of spilled milk because if I hadn’t, I might have completely lost my grip on reality.
These mini disasters didn’t happen because I’m a rookie at parenting. I’m a seasoned pro with four kids and over a decade of experience. No, these moments occur because that’s just what parenthood is sometimes. It’s a rollercoaster of chaos.
My partner, Jake, is a fantastic dad and an incredible ally. The hitch? He’s not home a lot. I am. And when he is home, it’s usually right at dinner and bedtime. So who’s running this circus all day? Me. But instead of being the ringmaster, I often felt more like a bumbling clown.
Now, don’t get me wrong; I absolutely adore being a mom. Our kids are great (despite their creative use of toothpaste), and there are countless joyful moments. The issue was that I had lost sight of the bigger picture of what it means to be a parent. Let me elaborate.
From their very first breath, we feel an immense drive to protect, nurture, and care for our children. They learn to depend on us for comfort, food, guidance, and help. And before you know it, you’re so enmeshed in the day-to-day that you’re ready to leap into action whenever they cry out for assistance.
But what is the bigger picture of parenthood? Our ultimate goal is to prepare these little ones for life, ensuring they can lead the happiest and most fulfilling lives possible. To achieve this, they need to learn how to take care of themselves. Yet, in our desire to protect and nurture, we often end up “doing” for them because we can do it faster and more efficiently. Our instinct is to rush in whenever they call us.
I became so consumed with the daily minutiae (Do you need a coat? Thanks for the booger! Let me fix your hair. Stop bickering with your sister!) that I completely lost sight of the bigger picture — until that fateful day when the milk spilled. I cried, and in that moment, I noticed two pairs of concerned eyes looking back at me.
Then something beautiful happened. My 6-year-old dashed to grab paper towels and began cleaning up the milk her sister had knocked over. Soon after, my 4-year-old joined in. When they finished, the floor was still sticky, but that was okay.
It hit me: here I was, trying to be super mom, leaping into action every time they called for my help. What I really needed to do was take a step back. I had to stop rushing to help them and instead start teaching them to handle things themselves. They don’t need to be quick or flawless yet. They have time to learn. But they can certainly try.
Now, when they spill milk or a box of Cheerios, I encourage them to clean it up. Sure, I’ll follow behind to make sure it’s done right, but guess what? It takes me half the time.
If they’re arguing, I don’t just shout over them (though I sometimes wish I had Captain von Trapp’s whistle). I hold up two fingers. They have two minutes to work things out, or Judge Mommy steps in, and the punishment is an hour without screens. They’re quickly becoming little diplomats!
If the bathroom walls are smeared with a mystery substance, I don’t panic. As a seasoned parent, I’ve encountered every kind of mess imaginable. I confirm my prayers are answered — it’s only Nutella — and then I leave them to clean while I tackle the laundry for the third time and check Facebook.
If they want a packed lunch for school, they better make it themselves. Yes, 6-year-olds can prepare a sandwich if you keep the supplies within reach. I’ll chop up fruit for their lunch and ensure they’re not just packing Oreos and animal crackers.
And when they truly need me, I will always be there — especially for the crucial tasks like fending off closet monsters at night.
If that pesky toothpaste tube has once again turned my bathroom into a bubblegum-flavored disaster, well, that might lead to a minor meltdown followed by some stress-eating of chocolate. But you know what? We’re working towards the bigger picture, and I’m determined to enjoy nearly every moment of this journey.
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Summary:
In the chaos of everyday parenting, it’s easy to lose sight of the bigger picture. Through spills and messes, I learned the importance of empowering my children to handle their own challenges instead of rushing in to solve everything. By stepping back, I’ve found more efficient ways to teach them life skills while still being there for them when it matters most.