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To the Mama Leaving Her Little One at Daycare: I Get It
Our mornings have developed a rhythm over time. My partner rises early to start his day, and then I follow suit. Together, we tackle getting our toddler ready before we dash out the door—two adults and a little one who are only half-prepared for what lies ahead.
Let’s be honest: mornings can be chaotic. There’s often a fair bit of foot stomping, some huffing and puffing, and even a few tears (yes, I’m talking about myself). It’s not uncommon for at least one of us to need a wardrobe change before we head out the door. And trust me, it hasn’t always been this easy.
When I rejoined the workforce full-time, my partner was deployed. Talk about tough! Those eight months were incredibly challenging, especially as I juggled the demands of a new job with the chaos of solo parenting. Our daughter was younger then, and I was more exhausted. Honestly, the details of those early days are a bit hazy, but one thing remains crystal clear: the heart-wrenching decision of leaving her in someone else’s care each day.
I adore my job. Even if I didn’t, our family relied on my paycheck. But that doesn’t diminish the gut-wrenching emotions tied to leaving my little one behind. The weight of that pain still lingers with me.
This morning, as I dropped off my daughter at daycare, I noticed a new mother who must have just had her baby six weeks ago. As she approached, I felt my heart constrict. Memories of her struggle rushed back to me.
I had just finished my own morning routine with my daughter—hugs, high-fives, kisses, and “I love yous.” She waved from the classroom windows, sending sweet kisses my way as she dashed off to her friends. I walked away, smiling but holding tightly to those snippets of our morning together.
Then I spotted the new mom. She was moving slowly, cradling her baby against her chest, head snug beneath her chin. I remembered those days when my own hands held my daughter like that, her soft hair brushing against my face. Now, my arms were empty, leaving a chill in my heart.
She inhaled the familiar scent of her newborn, that sweet smell we all cherish. I found myself taking a deep breath, recalling how my daughter smelled right after a bath or when she first woke up. Closing her eyes, the new mama seemed lost in thought, and I knew what was racing through her mind. “Am I doing the right thing?” “Will she be held enough?” “Will she remember my scent?” “Will she forgive me for leaving?”
Oh, Mama, I remember all of it—those heart-wrenching feelings of not wanting to leave your baby behind. Honestly, I still feel that way every single day.
For more insights on parenting and navigating these emotions, check out this blog post. And if you’re looking for ways to boost fertility, you can find helpful information at Make a Mom. For those embarking on their pregnancy journey, the March of Dimes is an excellent resource.
In summary, as mothers, we all share the bittersweet experience of leaving our children in the care of others while we head out into the world. It’s a struggle we understand deeply, and it’s okay to feel that ache.