As a parent of three, I can confidently say that my kids generally get along wonderfully. They enjoy playing games together, sharing laughs, and showing genuine affection for one another. However, they are siblings, and as anyone with brothers or sisters knows, sibling rivalry is a fact of life—just ask Cain and Abel!
I recall my own childhood squabbles with my brother. Despite our overall camaraderie, we often found ourselves in verbal tug-of-wars over imagined slights, like when I would yell, “Mom! Timmy’s touching me!” from the backseat. Back then, I was baffled by how exasperated my mother seemed. Now, as a parent, I completely understand.
My kids have bickered over so many trivial things that I’ve lost count. Here are a few of their favorites:
Who Got More
Whether it’s a milliliter of juice, a teaspoon of ice cream, or a single cookie crumb, my kids possess an uncanny ability to determine who received the larger share. The moment one feels cheated, they’ll burst out with, “Why did she get more than meeee?” My go-to response is, “Well, sweetheart, it’s because I love her more than I love you. Duh.” But I really admire Louis C.K.’s take on this: “The only time you look in your neighbor’s bowl is to make sure they have enough. You don’t look in their bowl to see if you have as much.” Boom! Take that, kiddos.
Whose Turn It Is
“It’s my turn to ring the doorbell!” “It’s my turn to push the elevator button!” “It’s my turn to sit next to Mommy!” You’d think I was running a turn-taking boot camp with the way they bicker over who gets to do what. I’ve spent countless hours trying to devise systems to avoid these disputes. Honestly, at times, I feel like I need a spreadsheet to track who gets to push which button. (Pro tip: the inside buttons are the most coveted.)
When the turn-taking drama escalates, I like to declare, “It’s Mommy’s turn!” and take over, except for the litter box—that’s all on them.
Looking at Each Other Funny
Who knew that a simple glance could unleash such chaos? “She glared at me!” “Stop looking at me like that!” “He always gives me that look!” Ugh! You don’t have to engage in the eyeball showdown, folks. Just look away! When all else fails, I whip out my goofy cross-eyed stare to disarm them with my Crazy Mommy powers. It might give them the creeps, but it’s worth it.
Laughing at (or Near) Each Other
As much as my kids love to laugh together, everything deteriorates when one laughs while another is sulking. It’s like they can’t stand the thought of their sibling enjoying themselves, and they’ll insist that the laughter was directed at them. Some of the time, they might be right, but convincing them of that is futile.
Destroying Imaginary Things
One day, my daughter burst into the room, crying hysterically. “What’s wrong?!” I asked. “He killed my waaahhhhh!” “Killed your what?” “My imaginary draaagonnn!” Ah, the epic battle of pretend destruction! Numerous imaginary creatures have met their end in our home over the years. I just give them hugs until they calm down and dream up another imaginary friend. You can’t reason with fantasy!
Me
My kids love to wrestle for my attention, the ultimate prize: me, the Almighty Mommy. There’s some primal instinct at play, as the younger two perpetually vie for the spot closest to me. If one is snuggling with me, the other must join in. They rarely argue about me outright—perhaps they know that would earn them a stern look—but there’s an unspoken competition to be the favorite.
Ah, sibling rivalry is inevitable. I just hope that when they grow up, they won’t squabble over who looked at whom or who got to push the elevator button last. Fingers crossed!
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Summary
In summary, sibling rivalry is a humorous yet frustrating part of parenting. My three kids may get along well overall, but their bickering over trivial matters like portion sizes, turn-taking, and imaginary dragons keeps me on my toes. Through it all, I try to maintain my sanity and hope that they’ll someday outgrow these petty disputes.