Some folks seem to juggle everything seamlessly during the holiday season—I’m not one of them. Believe me, I’ve tried! I adore the holidays; if Martha Stewart and Buddy the Elf had a child, I’d be that love child. From Halloween to New Year’s, my home is decked out, cookies are baking, and festive tunes fill the air. I’m unapologetic about it; I do it because it brings me joy.
But over the years, I’ve learned a tough lesson: trying to do it all can drain your happiness. So, I’ve decided to focus my energy on what truly matters—the moments that bring my family joy. I refuse to overextend myself and turn our celebrations into stress-fests.
The holiday season should be about gratitude and togetherness. With that in mind, I’ve adopted some new traditions that allow me more time to indulge in my guilty pleasure of Hallmark movies while sipping eggnog straight from the carton, rather than sobbing in the bathroom with a tray of cookies.
A few years back, the women in my family collectively decided to stop exchanging gifts. With families expanding and the number of nieces and nephews increasing, it became overwhelming. Instead of scouring stores for gift ideas, we now prioritize quality time together. This often means enjoying a nice meal out—just the girls—where cooking and cleaning are off the table. I also host a cookie swap (store-bought cookies are totally acceptable), where we feast on sweets and wine, dancing and belting out holiday classics in my living room. Trust me, you haven’t lived until you’ve witnessed our rendition of “The 12 Days of Christmas.”
These new traditions mean we can channel our time and resources into more meaningful pursuits. For nearly a decade, I’ve taken my kids to a local country store to select a name from the Angel Tree. It’s a heartwarming experience that teaches them gratitude in a way nothing else can. We also donate holiday meals to the local food bank, contribute generously to St. Jude, and even surprise someone we know with a gift we think they’ll love. One year, I noticed a sweet woman at our favorite burger joint always admired the bracelet I wore. I bought her one and could hardly wait to give it to her—I think I made it to just two days after Thanksgiving before I caved.
We’ve also let go of some holiday traditions that felt more like obligations, like sending out cards. While I enjoy receiving them, the process of sending them stressed me out, so I decided it was just not for me.
It’s perfectly acceptable to change or abandon traditions that no longer spark joy or fit your family’s needs.
During the holidays, I want to savor every moment. I envision cozy car rides in pajamas with hot cocoa, admiring Christmas lights. I want to dive into my recipe box and make a delightful mess in the kitchen with my kids, indulging in raw cookie dough and frosting, knowing the end result may not be Instagram-worthy. I look forward to my son’s creative gingerbread designs, which often feature some unexpected details.
I want to pin all the Pinterest ideas and dream about the projects I may or may not actually do. If I don’t check everything off my list, it’s no big deal; the fun lies in the possibilities.
While I enjoy holiday parties, I often opt to stay home instead. There’s something magical about curling up next to the tree after a busy weekend, listening to the quiet with my kids asleep and dogs at my feet.
Sometimes, the real magic is in the silence. It’s not something you can manufacture; it’s found in your kitchen while you bake the same cookies your great-grandmother made. It’s the smile from a stranger when you do something kind for them. It’s watching your eccentric aunt sing carols with your child, reminiscent of the times she did the same for you, filling you with love.
I can’t appreciate the beautiful moments if I’m racing through the holiday season, scrambling to buy gifts for people who already have everything they could want. I’d rather not exhaust myself trying to keep up with it all. The holidays should be a time of joy for everyone, regardless of how we choose to celebrate.
Giving up certain tasks to make room for what truly matters is the greatest gift you can give yourself and your family. Trust me on this!
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Summary
The holiday season should be about joy and togetherness. Instead of stressing over traditions or gift-giving, focus on creating meaningful experiences with loved ones. Letting go of what doesn’t bring happiness allows for more cherished moments, making the holidays a time to truly savor.