The Ups and Downs of Welcoming a Fourth Child

Deciding to expand your family to include a fourth child often involves significant thought, and sometimes it’s a result of unexpected circumstances—like that promised vasectomy that never happened. Regardless of how your fourth child comes into the picture, they will undoubtedly add a unique and irreplaceable dynamic to your family. If you’re still pondering this big decision, there are numerous factors to consider. Transitioning from three kids to four can be a curious mix of simplicity and complexity.

No More Left Out Sibling

With three kids, there’s often one who feels like the odd one out—typically the youngest, who just wants to join in on the fun with their older siblings. However, adding a fourth child tends to create pairs, eliminating that “left out” feeling. Just keep in mind that this pairing requires some time, as your youngest needs to grow big enough to be deemed “play-worthy” by their siblings.

Built-in Helpers

By the time you reach your fourth child, your older kids are usually capable of lending a hand. Even small tasks like grabbing diapers, preparing a bottle, or watching the baby while you take a breather can make life much smoother. This can turn the already challenging task of raising a fourth child into a more manageable experience.

Bedtime Battles and Bedroom Assignments

Having four kids can simplify—or complicate—bedroom arrangements. If all your children are the same gender, sharing rooms becomes a straightforward solution. However, if you have a mix of boys and girls, things could get tricky as they grow older.

The Vehicle Upgrade

Families with four or more children are the reason minivans and station wagons exist. With four kids, it’s almost guaranteed you’ll need a larger vehicle. If you’re one of those folks who can’t wait to drive a minivan, then go ahead—your future self will appreciate it.

Public Perception

While three kids seem to fit societal norms, once you hit four, prepare for the side-eye and unsolicited opinions. From the moment you announce your fourth pregnancy, you may hear comments like, “You know how that happens, right?” or “Is this your last?” It’s as if people think you’re running a breeding program.

Hand-Me-Down Bonanza

By the time you have a fourth child, chances are your baby gear has seen better days. However, the silver lining is that items like Halloween costumes or winter coats can get passed down multiple times, making it a win for your wallet. I once snagged a toddler-sized Cookie Monster costume for $14 and used it for eight Halloweens—talk about value!

Date Night? Not Likely

With just a couple of kids, you might catch a lucky break and snag a night off. But with four, it’s a rare occurrence. Finding someone willing to babysit four children simultaneously is akin to finding a unicorn, which makes planning a romantic evening quite the challenge.

Family Fun: Complicated and Costly

Having four kids undeniably hits the wallet hard. While some attractions offer family packs, they typically cater to families of three or fewer. Hotels often have strict policies against accommodating six people in one room, regardless of their size. On the flip side, when you do manage a family outing, it’s easier to organize groups so that no one ends up riding solo or with a stranger!

I’ve been navigating the world of parenting four kids for four years now. Like everything in life, there are pros and cons, but I’ve found that adjusting from two kids to three was far more challenging. If you’re on the fence, here’s a comforting thought: the more kids you have, the more available hands there will be when you’re too old to wipe your own behind.

For more insights on family planning, check out this other blog post. If you’re considering options for home insemination, visit Make a Mom for expert advice. Additionally, Hopkins Medicine is an excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination.

Summary:

Having a fourth child can be a life-changing experience, filled with both challenges and joys. From navigating bedroom arrangements to managing public perceptions, the journey is unique yet rewarding. While the decision is significant, the love and support from a larger family often outweigh the complexities.