Cheers to the Dads Raising Respectful Sons

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Cheers to the Dads Raising Respectful Sons

by Taylor Morgan

Updated: November 23, 2016

Originally Published: November 23, 2016

Photo Credit: oliveromg/Shutterstock

If there’s a silver lining to the chaotic year that was 2016 (and honestly, finding one is like searching for a needle in a haystack), it’s that we’ve been forced to confront the deep-rooted issues plaguing our society. Like that awkward light an aesthetician uses to expose all the hidden flaws during a facial, there’s no hiding from the glaring issues of sexism and misogyny in our culture. When individuals like Brock Turner receive minimal consequences for their actions and our newly elected leaders brazenly admit to inappropriate behavior, it’s hard not to notice the glaring blemishes on the face of American values.

In the months that followed, I’ve heard countless voices expressing outrage over the impact on our daughters. Mothers have shed tears for their little girls, and fathers have gasped in disbelief, lamenting their roles as “fathers of daughters.” While I completely empathize with these sentiments, I’ve been left pondering: What does this mean for my husband and I as parents to boys?

As a woman, I have experienced firsthand the insidiousness of sexism. I’ve dealt with workplace harassment and have been objectified more times than I can count. While I have been fortunate enough to avoid sexual assault, too many of my friends have not. However, as a mom of boys, I refuse to view their gender as the source of the problem. They too are affected by the sexist world we live in. While they may not face misogyny directly, it’s naive to believe that harmful stereotypes don’t impact them. It’s crucial to recognize that sexism is a societal issue that affects everyone.

As Steven J. Blake pointed out in an op-ed for the Los Angeles Times, “Fathers of daughters may feel a personal outrage, but it’s the fathers of sons who can truly help to combat the ongoing misogyny in our culture.” Blake highlights some critical statistics about the prevalence of sexism, harassment, and assault that we all know too well.

He goes on to say something refreshingly uncommon: “As a father of sons, it’s my duty to address these issues.” He emphasizes that just as he discusses civil rights and discrimination with his children, he also makes it a point to educate them on the historical struggles women have faced at the hands of men. Reading this, I felt a surge of agreement! Finally! While we’ve become adept at calling out sexism, we often shy away from taking responsibility and seeking solutions. Much of the discourse revolves around outrage — “This is unacceptable!” and “Women deserve better!” While these sentiments are valid and I share in the outrage, if we remain solely outraged, nothing will change. Real progress requires action, not just words.

It’s one thing to instruct boys on how to behave; it’s another to exemplify how to be genuinely good men. Anyone can rant about injustices, but it is essential for men to embody these ideals daily.

For example, my husband doesn’t simply tell our sons to respect women in a vague manner. He demonstrates how to treat everyone — men and women alike — with kindness and respect. He praises my professional achievements in front of our boys, showcasing women’s success. He teaches them that “no” is a complete sentence by respecting that boundary during playtime. He shows vulnerability by crying when necessary and encourages our sons to embrace their emotions. He consistently reminds them that it’s not enough to avoid being sexist; they must actively challenge misogyny when they encounter it, even if it leads to uncomfortable conversations with peers.

While I’m proud to say my husband is doing his part, he’s not alone. There are countless fathers across the nation raising sons who understand the importance of equality and respect. Unfortunately, we don’t often highlight these positive influences. We need to acknowledge the vital role men play in shaping the behaviors of other men, especially their sons.

So here’s to all the fathers out there committed to raising compassionate men and empowering women. Here’s to the dads instilling in their sons the understanding that “no” always means “no,” and that silence can signal the same. Here’s to the men who change diapers without seeking applause and who cook dinner while expressing gratitude to their partners for fixing the sink. Here’s to those who are comfortable showing emotion and allow their sons to do the same. Here’s to fathers who don’t pressure their sons to “man up” and who embrace the title of feminist, demonstrating the principles of feminism with their actions.

To the good and decent men out there, we see you, we appreciate you, and we rely on you to help cultivate a future filled with even more respectful individuals. Together, we can address and eventually eliminate the harmful misogyny that affects us all.

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Summary:

This article emphasizes the crucial role fathers play in raising respectful sons amidst a culture rife with sexism. It highlights the importance of not only teaching boys about equality but also demonstrating those values through actions. Good fathers are encouraged to nurture compassionate and conscious individuals who actively challenge misogyny, ensuring a better future for all.