Excuse My Colorful Language, But I’m All About the Swear Words and That’s Not Changing Anytime Soon

home insemination Kit

As I’ve matured, I’ve embraced certain undeniable traits about myself. For starters, I enjoy my coffee lukewarm, and smoothies or kale? No, thank you. Finding jeans that fit my ample backside is a challenge, and turtlenecks and scarves just make me look like I’m lacking a neck. I’m impatient, a bit dramatic, and definitely edgy. And yes, I have a vocabulary that would make a tattooed biker blush.

In simpler terms, I drop the f-bomb — frequently and unapologetically.

Some might label my language as crude, unrefined, or unladylike. But honestly? I couldn’t care less. My well of concern for others’ opinions has run dry. Thankfully, I’m overflowing with inventive expressions to convey my indifference.

Swearing is simply part of who I am. Asking me to stop cursing is like requesting I forego coffee or give up wearing leggings as pants. Not happening, so let’s just skip it.

I’m intelligent and kind. I can be funny, gentle, and forgiving. Yet, I also have a penchant for swearing and I won’t apologize for it.

And why should you care if I curse? As long as I’m not directing insults at you, swearing isn’t harmful or aggressive. In fact, there are plenty of scenarios that are such utter disasters that a “goshdarnit” just doesn’t cut it. Those phrases are for pearl-clutchers. In true calamities, a well-timed expletive is not only satisfying but necessary — throw in some creative terms like “crapgibbon” or “fracksticks,” and you’re golden.

Few things are as therapeutic as unleashing a barrage of inventive curses when a jerk in a Camaro cuts you off or when a clueless person at the store inquires about your pregnancy (spoiler: you’re not expecting, thank you very much). Whether I’m venting about the chaos of current events or parenting, swearing is my instant stress relief. Some people knit, I curse. We each have our outlets.

Moreover, swearing is not just cathartic; it’s also fun and downright creative. Contrary to popular belief, studies suggest that swearing can be a mark of intelligence. It takes smarts to come up with various alternatives for “jerk” (think: jerkface, jerkweed, or even jerk). And yes, I can use “swear” as a noun, verb, and adjective all in one sentence.

And no, my kids won’t be traumatized by hearing me curse. Research backs this up. They’re learning that there’s a time and a place for everything, including certain colorful words. It’s not like I’m yelling expletives at their school or during church.

Some people swear, some don’t. If you choose not to, that’s perfectly fine. Just don’t. Preferences vary, just like with music or food. Personally, I can’t stand jazz and I’m a vegetarian. So, I don’t listen to it or eat meat. I don’t, however, make a fuss or cover my kids’ ears when someone raves about a burger while discussing their latest Miles Davis album.

Recently, I received a surprise package from a friend who declared me the “perfect recipient” for her gift. It was a mug that reads, “I don’t spew profanities. I enunciate them like a lady.” This mug is now my favorite. Ironically, I unwrapped it while lecturing my son about his own “darn it” and “crap” usage — but that’s a story for another time.

Life is tough enough without pretending to be someone I’m not. I’m a nearly 40-year-old woman with a big personality who dislikes kale, avoids yoga, and loves to use words like “crap,” “darn,” and “hell.” I’m not a bad person; I’m just confident enough to express myself freely. Life is too short, and swearing helps me cope.

In short, I’m a fierce individual who embraces the joy of swearing. You might want to give it a try sometime. If you’re looking for more information about home insemination, check out this excellent resource on artificial insemination or visit Make a Mom for an incredible range of options. If you’re interested in a deeper dive into the world of home insemination, you can also explore this guide for more insights.

Summary: Embracing who you are, including your language, can be liberating. Swearing is a form of self-expression that can relieve stress and even signify intelligence. It’s all about being true to yourself without worrying about societal norms. Whether you’re a swearer or not, what’s important is that you remain authentic.