Three years ago, my partner made a bold declaration: anytime either of us swore, a quarter would go into the Swear Jar. Once that jar was full, the kids would reap the rewards. First reaction: Seriously? And secondly: Are you joking? I ended up tossing in $10 right off the bat, explaining it was a prepayment for the summer. The kids were baffled; they didn’t comprehend money yet and thought all paper bills equaled a fortune. Cue their excitement!
Meanwhile, my partner was far more committed to the program and nearly depleted our savings by autumn’s arrival. After the kids cashed in, we decided to abandon the whole policy. We reverted back to our free-speaking ways. Here are five reasons why I’m unbothered by swearing in front of my children:
1. I’m an Adult.
Let’s be honest: adulthood isn’t the glorious paradise I envisioned at 11 (I was daydreaming about beachside golf carts and being chill about menstruation). However, one perk is that I can say whatever I want without fearing a time-out. Sweet!
2. They’re Still Kids.
Sure, I’m supposed to be a role model. That’s why I wear pants to drop them off at school—even if under my coat, it’s not required. But let’s face it, they’re not adults yet. Until they grow up, it’s “do as I say, not as I do.” They won’t be swearing, driving, using the toaster, or enjoying watermelon martinis anytime soon. They have plenty to look forward to!
3. Kids Speak in Code.
Everything with kids seems to be a mix of baby talk, euphemisms, and indecipherable phrases. Who knows what I’m actually saying half the time? Strategic swearing cuts through the nonsense. When my chill 8-year-old made his sister cry, I looked him straight in the eye and said: “Stop acting like a little brat to your sister.” His wide-eyed reaction told me I got through.
4. Parenting is a Series of WTF Moments.
I need to express my true feelings while navigating the chaos of parenting—whether it’s stepping on Lego pieces, finding socks in the toilet, or baking 24 cupcakes at midnight for an 8 a.m. class party. Sometimes, I just need everyone to quiet down so I can think!
5. I’ve Already Given Up So Much.
Motherhood has cost me sleep, sanity, fashion sense, and so much more. Why should I also compromise my communication style? Oh, heck no! If you somehow managed to keep it together while raising your kids without cursing through the challenges, kudos to you. Just remind your little angel to bring earmuffs for playdates at my place—they might hear some grown-up language!
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In summary, I see swearing as a form of genuine expression that helps cut through the chaos of parenting. While I aim to guide my kids, I’m also not ready to give up my voice—after all, I’ve sacrificed enough!