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Embracing Spontaneity in Parenting
I found myself perched on a plastic chair, observing my son during his first speech therapy session. The therapist, fondly known as The Sound Sage, was seated across from him at a round table. They were tackling his lateral lisp, and I was eager to see how it would unfold.
The therapist unveiled a bingo-like board covered in circular holes, each housing an image of colorful snakes. Beside it lay a collection of vibrant chips. Intrigued, I watched as she guided my son through the session.
“Can you say ‘ta’ for me? Like this: ‘Ta, ta,’” she prompted.
“Ta, ta,” my son echoed, trying his best.
The game was simple: for every sound he articulated correctly, he earned a chip to place on the board. The goal was to fill all the spaces. Sounds easy, right? Think again.
It wasn’t his articulation that posed a challenge. He wasn’t distracted or ignoring directions, which I worried might happen. No, the real struggle came from the game itself.
When he first earned a chip, he hesitated, unsure where to put it. The therapist reassured him he could choose any spot. Confusion clouded his face as he repeated his question. After a few exchanges, he finally settled on a place.
His small fingers carefully positioned the chip. It wasn’t random; he matched the chip’s color to those of the snakes on the board. If there wasn’t a corresponding snake, he sought guidance again. I realized in that moment that my child has a strong need for order—a trait I had noticed before but brushed off as mere coincidence. His meticulous placement of the chips conveyed a deeper truth that echoed loudly in the therapy room, even more than the sounds he was trying to produce.
A couple of weeks later, during our trip back from vacation, we made a pit stop at a gas station. A display of ceramic bells caught my son’s eye, and soon the sweet sound of tinkling filled the air. When I told him it was time to leave, he protested, insisting on finishing his task of organizing the bells by color.
I shouldn’t have been surprised. I, too, thrive on order and organization, to the point of obsession. When plans go awry or are left to the last minute, I become a bundle of nerves.
Seeing my son mirror my tendencies raises a question: Have I unconsciously molded his behavior? Is this need for structure innate or a product of my own habits?
For the three years since his arrival, our mornings have started at 7:30 a.m., Monday through Friday, with structured routines for every part of the day. Since he began daycare full-time, his life has revolved around schedules for meals, playtime, and even handwashing. I never meant to introduce him to the monotony of adult life, where everything has a time and a purpose.
Would things be different if I were a stay-at-home mom? That’s a mystery I can’t solve. What’s clear is that I need to prioritize moments of spontaneity amidst our structured lives. My son has inadvertently taught me the significance of breaking free from our routines.
As a mom, I need to carve out time for both of us to embrace the unexpected. Maybe we’ll indulge in ice cream before dinner or take a spontaneous drive to admire holiday lights. Thankfully, my son isn’t as rigid yet, so I have time to instill a sense of adventure and playful chaos in him. Who knows, perhaps I’ll learn to embrace it too. One thing’s certain: I will never squander another vacation day again. We all need a breather, and these moments are worth infinitely more than just time off work.
Thanks to my little one and The Sound Sage for this enlightening experience!
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