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Don’t Apologize for Your Kid’s Tantrums
My friend Jessica and her little one, Max, spent the weekend at our place, and let me tell you, Max was not exactly in a happy mood. Being in a new environment threw him for a loop; he was cranky, crying, and glued to Jessica’s side. Sleep? Forget about it. Our home is far from babyproof, especially with the stairs, and we were so thrilled to have ditched the baby gates that we didn’t even think to set them up again.
As the days went on, Jessica became increasingly flustered by Max’s behavior. “He’s usually not like this,” she kept saying, clearly apologetic. My husband and I were doing our best to reassure her, saying, “No worries, we get it! We have kids too.” But I could see that she was having a tough time letting go of her stress.
Here’s the kicker: I actually love when other kids misbehave. Seriously. Whining, crying, and everything in between? It’s a relief! Why? Because most of the time, I’m the one feeling embarrassed about my kids’ antics—too loud, too wild, too rude. I often find myself apologizing for their behavior, feeling like I have to explain my “lack of control.”
Seeing Max throw a fit reminded me that I’m not alone. It’s a comforting reality check that other kids can be just as unruly as mine. It’s easy to forget that the perfect little angels I see on social media aren’t the norm.
So, my dear friend, when you have to leave our conversation to pull Max down from the stairs yet again, just know I’m not annoyed. In fact, I’m overjoyed to witness this “willful behavior” because I sometimes think my kids have oppositional defiant disorder. Hearing him cry half the day? It’s music to my ears! My son screamed like a banshee for his first year of life. I honestly didn’t know if Max ever cried until now!
You were so frustrated when he wouldn’t nap like he does at home, having to traipse upstairs repeatedly to remind him it was bedtime. I’ve put that jealousy aside from our lunch outing when Max snoozed peacefully in his carrier for two hours while my kiddo was wreaking havoc. Envy doesn’t begin to describe how I felt that day.
So please, spare me the apologies when your kid acts out. When I see Max clinging to your legs and yelling for you to pick him up, I feel relief. It reassures me that my children aren’t the little monsters I fear they are.
I’m genuinely not just trying to ease your mom guilt; I’m thrilled to see that your child isn’t the picture-perfect angel I thought he was. So go ahead and let him cry—it takes a load off my heart. And hopefully, the next time my kids start their shenanigans, I’ll feel a little less embarrassed, knowing that your kids can be a handful too.
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Summary:
Navigating the challenges of parenting can be overwhelming, especially when your kids are acting out. It’s important to remember that you’re not alone in dealing with tantrums and misbehavior. Seeing other kids struggle can provide reassurance and help ease the pressure of feeling like you have to manage everything perfectly. So, the next time your child throws a fit, don’t apologize—embrace the reality that we’re all in this together.