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“Because I Said So” Is Sufficient Reason
I truly believe that every child, even those as young as 3 or 4, deserves thoughtful answers to their endless “why” questions. Sure, it can be draining and at times downright irritating to engage with each query, but in my mind, kids should be treated with the same respect we offer adults when they seek information.
That’s the theory in my head.
However, my heart recognizes that while I would love to provide a response to every single “why,” I often lack the time, energy, or sometimes even the inclination to do so. And when I find myself in those situations, the words that inevitably slip out are “Because I said so.”
Honestly, I dislike resorting to that phrase. It feels like a shortcut, as if I’m denying my kids the respect of a real answer. It seems like I’m just trying to hustle through our day. But it’s not always like that.
Sometimes, we simply don’t have the luxury of time for a deep dive into explanations. Take, for instance, the mornings when we’re racing to get out the door for an appointment, and they ask, “Why do we need to go to the doctor?” I’d much prefer to sit them down and explain how doctors keep us healthy and help us grow strong. But with just 3 minutes on the clock, all I can manage is “Because I said so. Now, hop in the car.”
Or consider bedtime. After navigating through their increasingly elaborate nightly routines, I finally reach for the door only to be met with the classic, “Mom, why can’t we have snacks in our bed?” My brain wants to elaborate on crumbs, dirty sheets, and potential ant invasions, but it’s already a million hours past bedtime. So, “Because I said so” escapes my lips as I close the door behind me.
I understand the importance of explaining my actions and decisions to my kids. It’s crucial for their development, helping them learn patience and understanding for the next generation. However, when questions come flooding in, and my patience is running thin, I sometimes wish I could just pour myself a glass of whiskey instead.
Beyond my own limits, there’s also the aspect of parental authority. As my friend Eric from the neighborhood might say, “Respect my authority!” There’s definitely a time for questions, but when I’ve already given an instruction, I need them to simply follow through instead of bombarding me with a barrage of “whys.”
We have a lifetime ahead of us to explore their curiosities, but 30 seconds before school starts is not the ideal moment.
With all sincerity, I harbor some hopes for my kids and the bond we share. I hope that as they grow, their “why” questions will become fewer but more profound—those that seek deeper truths, like “Why does my friend have two dads?” rather than “Why can’t I color on the bathroom wall?”
I also wish to find more time and patience to respond to their questions with love and understanding. But for now, they’re just 3 and 4, and it’s crucial for them to grasp that there’s an appropriate time for questions, a time for thoughtful answers, and a time to follow Mom’s lead simply because she said so.
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