Pause Before You Post

home insemination Kit

Date: Dec. 9, 2016

It all began innocently enough. You stumbled across one of my photos where I was flaunting bold red lipstick, a form-fitting catsuit, and a dazzling sequined vest. And for some inexplicable reason, you felt the urge to comment. You thought it was clever to drop a “joke,” a supposedly innocent quip:

“Wow, that girl needs a sandwich!!!”

Original and hilarious, right? Because clearly, the “skinny girl” must need to bulk up with a side of fries and a cheeseburger. But believe it or not, this wasn’t the first time I’ve heard such remarks. Standing at just 5 feet tall and weighing 105 pounds, comments on my appearance have become alarmingly common. However, this was the first time a complete stranger had critiqued my body online. And I was just trying to share a piece on mental health.

I attempted to brush it off and move on, but here’s what I’d like you to know, commenter: I couldn’t shake your words. They haunted me, poking at my insecurities, because deep down, you were right. I did need to eat; my stomach felt like it was being consumed from the inside out. I was weak, dizzy, and nauseated — starving, really. But eating was a challenge I couldn’t face. You had no idea about the battle raging within me when you made that “joke.”

Let me introduce myself. “That girl” has a name: Jamie. Jamie is a wife, a mother, a writer, and an advocate for mental health. It’s a shame you didn’t take the time to discover that by reading the article. Perhaps you simply didn’t care.

You probably also have no interest in knowing that “that girl” has a heart filled with love and pain — the joy of motherhood, the sorrow of loss, and the struggle to provide nourishment for her body. “That girl” has a story; she has faced an eating disorder and continues to grapple with it daily.

Even after seven years of being “in recovery,” “that girl” still finds herself scrutinizing her body. She picks at the skin around her waist and sees imperfections where you might see a slender figure. “That girl” notices her uneven shoulders, her slightly crossed eyes, and yes, her flat backside. While you see bones, “that girl” perceives bulges and flaws.

To cope, “that girl” exercises obsessively. She runs 5 miles a day, five days a week, not just to stay fit but to keep her mind at ease. It’s a compulsive cycle — she runs because she wants to and because she feels she has to. She keeps track of more than just calories; she counts sit-ups, steps, push-ups, lunges, and squats, all to justify a sip of skim milk in her iced coffee.

Just that morning, she had stepped on the scale for the first time in a year, only to find a number that horrified her. After a scalding shower, she spent almost 20 minutes pulling at her skin, hoping to “melt” away the evidence of her struggles, to redefine her core.

While I’m sure you thought your comment was harmless, a fleeting joke, please know it wasn’t. That comment didn’t flatter me; it made me feel criticized and judged. Once again, “that girl’s” body became a target for scrutiny.

So, I urge you, think before you type. Consider the human being behind every article — a writer, a blogger, a person. You never know what someone has endured or is facing right now.

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Summary:

This piece explores the impact of seemingly harmless comments about body image, from the perspective of a woman named Jamie. She reflects on her personal struggles with body image and an eating disorder, emphasizing the importance of understanding the human experiences behind social media posts. The narrative serves as a reminder to think before posting comments online, highlighting that words can have a profound impact on individuals.