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Let It Out: The Importance of Venting as a Parent
Instead of “Stay Cool and Move Forward,” I suggest letting it all out for a moment.
As a parent, I like to think of myself as pretty chill. I don’t let the little things get to me, and I can let a lot slide. Like that time my son decided to decorate himself with permanent markers right before we were heading out for dinner. I just sighed and walked out the door.
Or the time my daughter thought the backyard was an acceptable bathroom, despite the actual bathroom being only a few feet away. I sighed again—maybe a bit louder this time—and put her in charge of her own “poop patrol.”
And let’s not even get started on the fact that every male in my house, including my husband, routinely leaves the toilet seat up. I give an extra loud sigh (perhaps with a dramatic slam of the seat), but I keep my cool.
That said, I can be relaxed, easygoing, and calm all day long. But there are moments when my sighs morph into growls, my deep breaths feel like hyperventilating, and my laid-back demeanor flips to “Forget This!” in seconds. I can be impatient, dramatic, and emotional. You might say I have a “short fuse.”
To put it plainly, sometimes I just lose it.
Whether it’s a mountain of baseball cards scattered across the living room, sitting in a puddle of pee on the toilet seat, or witnessing my oldest smacking my youngest with a toy sword, there are days when even the deepest breaths and time-outs just won’t do.
There are times when the chaos is so overwhelming that even a glass of wine wouldn’t help. Sure, deep breaths, soothing music, and a nice cup of chai can help with stress, but when you’re caught in a tornado of madness, essential oils and a calming stroll around the block just seem trivial.
Sometimes, you need to take a moment to shout “Forget this!” and indulge in some serious pillow punching. Maybe even stomp your feet or slam a door as you head out for some guilt-free retail therapy.
I believe that occasionally losing your cool is necessary to regain your composure and move on. While “stay calm and move forward” is the ideal mantra, for many of us, “let it out for a bit and then carry on” is far more realistic.
How to Effectively Let It Out
To be clear, losing your sh*t isn’t about being violent or emotionally abusive. It’s about acknowledging your feelings, expressing them in a responsible way, and moving on.
- Get away from everyone, especially the kids.
- Let it all out.
- Regain your composure and move forward.
When the chaos truly erupts, sometimes you just need to lock yourself in the bathroom and unleash a stream of incoherent expletives. Call your best friend to vent about how your kids are driving you up the wall with their constant bickering. Indulge in some Cheetos dipped in ice cream and marshmallows. Maybe even roll your eyes and give your husband a little attitude for asking if it’s “that time of the month” when all you wanted was to know if he could figure out how to load the dishwasher.
There are moments when another polite request like “put on your coat” simply won’t cut it. You might have to pull your child close and hiss in your best horror movie voice, “Put on your coat… or else” (not that you have any real idea what “or else” means). You could even sing your empty threats about taking away screen time for a week just so your kids understand you mean business. And then, when no one is watching, you hide in the hall closet and scream to your heart’s content.
Most of the time, I can calm my nerves with some Bob Ross or a little online shopping. But sometimes that’s just not enough. Sometimes I need to vent, express my frustrations, and then move on. Because unless they start selling an essential oil called “Forget This!” or I can infuse my deep breaths with something stronger, the usual calming techniques just won’t do the trick. An emotional release through venting and swearing is sometimes exactly what I need.
If you’re interested in more tips, you can check out this article on home insemination that offers great resources for parents navigating similar challenges.
In summary, while staying calm is often the goal, allowing yourself to vent and lose it a little can be a healthy way to cope with parenting chaos. Embrace those moments of frustration, let them out, and then carry on with renewed energy.