In a world where consent is an increasingly hot topic, it’s baffling that some parents still pressure their children into hugging and kissing relatives against their will. Teaching kids about their rights over their own bodies is essential, and that includes allowing them to decline unwanted physical affection—yes, even from Grandma!
A popular meme shared by A Mighty Kid, originally from Safe Kids, Thriving Families, emphasizes the importance of not forcing children to engage in hugs or kisses. When we tell kids they must comply with someone else’s demand for affection, we inadvertently send a harmful message about consent and bodily autonomy.
In a thought-provoking piece by journalist Mia Johnson, helpful tips are provided for parents to instill in their children the understanding that they are not obligated to accept physical contact out of fear of being rude or impolite. Johnson recalls telling her daughter, “I would love for you to hug Grandma, but it’s entirely your choice.”
This seems like a no-brainer, right? Yet, many of us grew up in households where our parents insisted we greet relatives with hugs and kisses, completely overlooking our feelings. I still remember feeling anxious at family gatherings, dreading the obligatory embraces from distant relatives whose scents or scratchy beards made me uncomfortable.
Recognizing a child’s instinct to avoid unwanted touch—even if they can’t articulate their discomfort—is crucial. We can’t preach that their bodies belong to them while simultaneously overriding their choices because Aunt Betty wants a peck on the cheek. The message should be crystal clear: it’s their decision every single time, no excuses.
Johnson also notes that allowing her daughter to choose who to hug doesn’t mean she can be rude. Instead, she encourages her to greet people politely, offering options like a hug or a high-five. Sometimes, her daughter even opts for a handshake, mimicking adult interactions.
In my own parenting journey, I’ve adopted Johnson’s approach. If my kids don’t want to hug Grandma, we never force it. It just feels right.
Respecting a child’s wishes about who touches them is vital. We want them to make healthy decisions as they grow, and showing them that their bodies are not for pleasing others—no matter how innocent the request—is an important lesson. Johnson poses a poignant question: “Would you want your daughter to have sex with her boyfriend just to make him happy?” After all, parents who insist on mandatory affection often claim it’s different, but is it really?
By teaching them these life lessons now, we equip children with the essential tools to navigate their bodies and relationships safely in the future. These are habits that will stick with them for life, proving that consent is a lifelong lesson.
For more insights on related topics, you can check out our post on home insemination here. Also, to understand more about fertility and enhancing men’s health, visit Make a Mom’s fertility booster. For those interested in pregnancy resources, the CDC offers excellent guidance on the subject.
In summary, it’s imperative that we give children the autonomy to decide who can touch them. By doing so, we lay the groundwork for them to make safe and healthy choices throughout their lives, ensuring that consent is respected and understood.