I’m currently in possession of 20 exquisitely adorned toilet paper rolls, each one a colorful work of art created by my little hoarder, a 5-year-old whose creativity knows no bounds. Every night, we perform a ritualistic count and inspection of these treasures, which I never imagined would become cherished family artifacts.
Alongside these whimsically decorated tubes, my daughter has transformed our recycling bin into a treasure trove of creativity, repurposing everything from boxes and bubble wrap to jars and newspapers. Just the other day, she fashioned a butterfly out of a broken wooden spoon and a deflated Whoopee cushion! Each creation is lovingly cared for, except for that one milk jug filled with crayons that developed an odor reminiscent of gym socks after a few days.
Living in a modest home means that as the holiday season approaches, filled with the promise of new toys and clothes, we need to make some room. Thus begins the essential task of decluttering — a mission to eliminate toys and creations that no longer serve a purpose in our lives.
This task can be a tough sell to some family members who might benefit from a hoarding intervention. So, I decided that this year, I would involve the kids in the toy cleanout. I figured they might have a sentimental attachment to certain items, and perhaps they would learn the value of giving. Yes, I convinced myself that this would be a heartwarming experience worth writing about.
Looking back, I kind of wish I could kick my past self in the shins. Here’s how The Great Pre-Christmas Toy Cleanout unfolded:
- Preparation: I gathered the kids and told them, “Alright, we’re getting rid of some toys. Look around and think about what you don’t play with anymore. Imagine how excited another child would be to have that playhouse you haven’t touched or the train track that’s collecting dust!”
- Timing: I chose the perfect moment — bellies full and well-rested. They had time to digest the idea of parting with toys, and it was finally time to declutter.
- The Toy Bin: I started sifting through their overflowing toy bin. A broken yo-yo? Trash. Unused finger puppets? Donate. The mountain of Happy Meal toys? Trash. Out went the too-small dress-up clothes, baby Lego sets, toddler puzzles, and even a bag of plastic snakes that were gathering cobwebs.
- Nostalgia Hits: Suddenly, they remembered how much they loved everything! The smooshed-faced doll, the terrifying remote-controlled tarantula that had a disastrous bath time, and the box of party favors were all suddenly irreplaceable.
- Distraction: They abandoned the task and began playing with the toys instead.
- Firmness: I had to be assertive. “Nope! We’re doing this. You want your toys to be loved, right? We all know what happens to unloved toys!”
- Tears Flowed: Cue the waterworks. Oh, the sorrow of the toys being separated from their owners! Why did I have to mention that film about toys, anyway?
- Compromise: They reluctantly allowed me to toss just one broken doll arm and a puzzle missing half its pieces.
- Stealth Mode Activated: When they were at school, I seized the opportunity to discreetly gather everything they hadn’t touched in ages and tossed it into bags and boxes for donation. Just like every year — because apparently, I have amnesia.
- Victory! We’re clutter-free, and they have no idea what they’re missing! I’m documenting this experience so I remember for next year.
Despite my efforts to involve the kids in this process, you’d think after a decade of parenting, I could foresee how it would play out. Nope. Take my advice: don’t do what I did. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to return to my collection of toilet paper roll masterpieces.
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Summary:
The Great Pre-Christmas Toy Cleanout recounts the humorous yet chaotic journey of decluttering toys with children who are fiercely attached to their belongings. The author shares her experience of trying to involve her kids in the process, only to face the predictable challenge of nostalgia and resistance, ultimately leading to a stealthy cleanout while they were at school.