How Do You Measure Up Against This 1930s Wife Evaluation?

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When pondering the dynamics of a marriage or long-term partnership, many might wonder: Are we content? Is our relationship thriving? Are we nurturing one another’s needs while also looking after our own?

But why engage in such practical self-reflection when you can evaluate yourself and your partner based on outdated, ridiculous, and frankly absurd criteria, like whether one can play a tune on the piano or if they indulge in a monthly charcoal face mask?

Enter the infamous 1939 Marital Rating Scale, crafted by Dr. George W. Crane. This list might just be the most laughable content to hit the internet since that infamous marital advice from a certain former child star.

Each item on the scale earns you a point, unless otherwise noted. Yes, you read that right—points for “merits” and deductions for “demerits.” Let’s explore some of these delightful standards, shall we?

Demerits First

Because it seems 1930s wives were treated like misbehaving teenagers.

• She doesn’t like children. Sure, we adore our kids with all our hearts, but let’s be real: there are days when “liking” them is a stretch. Any mom who claims to love every moment is probably hiding a few secrets!
• She fails to mend buttons or repair socks regularly. Apparently, “darn” means “fix.” Newsflash: most of us are too busy to sew. So, minus a point there.
• She wears red nail polish. Yes, please! Especially if it’s glittery and applied during a much-needed mani/pedi session while someone else wrangles the kids we sometimes don’t like.
• She’s often late for appointments. Of course! Blame the kids and the husband—there’s only so much time in a morning!
• She wears dirty and tattered clothing at home. With kids, everything is bound to get messy. Seriously, most days, there’s some unknown substance on our clothes—so maybe step in and do some laundry, dear partner?

Now, let’s check the “merits”

Although I’m not sure how many modern moms are going to score well here.

• She’s a good hostess, even to surprise visitors. Unless it’s the delivery driver bringing our latest Amazon haul, we’re not even opening the door—so big NOPE.
• She lets her husband sleep in on weekends and holidays, and never goes to bed angry. Cue the eye roll.
• She maintains a tidy and clean house. Cleaning with kids? It’s like trying to brush your teeth while devouring Oreos. Most of us would prefer to binge-watch our favorite shows with snacks in hand instead.
• She serves meals on time. This one had me laughing! The only way that could work is if we’re cooking breakfast in last night’s yoga pants while sipping cold coffee.
• She dresses for breakfast. If “dresses” means wearing yesterday’s activewear and “breakfast” means reheated leftovers, then yes! #Winning.

This article originally appeared on December 20, 2016.

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Summary

The 1930s Marital Rating Scale is a humorous reminder of outdated expectations for wives. While modern relationships thrive on mutual respect and understanding, this tongue-in-cheek evaluation reveals how far we’ve come in recognizing the complexities of partnership and parenting.