10 New Year’s Resolutions My Family Should Seriously Consider

Every year, as the calendar flips, I take a moment to contemplate how to make our lives a little better in the upcoming year. Sure, I scribble down a few resolutions that are both hopeful and achievable. There’s almost always a fitness goal that fizzles out by January 5, and I often find myself reminding myself to “not lose my cool when the kids start pushing my buttons.” And, of course, I always vow to “spend more quality time with my partner,” but that promise quickly gets derailed by a flood of birthday party invites, T-ball schedules, and reading lists that seem to multiply overnight.

Recently, I took a moment to reflect deeper: “What can I improve as a parent, partner, and individual in the new year?” My answer? Nothing. Not because I’m a perfect spouse or an amazing parent—far from it. And definitely not because I’ve reached my dream weight (I haven’t). It’s because I’m not the one in our home who truly needs to engage in some self-reflection. I’m not the one who can’t locate the laundry basket to save my life. I’m not the one who thinks that half-washed dishes count as clean. I’m the one picking up the pieces when tempers flare and chaos ensues.

So, fellow parents, instead of focusing on ways to better ourselves, let’s turn our attention to the family members who could use a little resolution inspiration. Here’s my list:

1. Pick Up After Yourselves.

We don’t live in a palace! The laundry hamper isn’t that far away. Put your dirty clothes in it so I don’t have to. And those shoes you leave in the middle of the floor? I’ve nearly tripped over them 14 times. If I do fall, who will clean up after you? Right, you!

2. Stop Handing Me Your Trash.

Even if I’m standing right beside a trash can, it seems you still prefer to hand me your empty wrappers and snack remnants. I appreciate the thought, but I think the garbage can would appreciate them more. Find it!

3. Don’t Ask for Intimacy When I’m Busy.

Love you, partner, but if you want some affection, how about a little foreplay? And by that, I mean help me out! If you want a little something, pitch in around the house.

4. Keep Your Dinner Critiques to Yourself.

Kids, when I was your age, we ate liver and onions once a month, and there was no such thing as “kid-friendly” meals. If you’re not keen on dinner, eat it anyway or whip something up yourself. I’m not a chef; I’m your mom. A simple “thank you” goes a long way.

5. Homework is Not My Fault.

That tantrum you throw about “homework being the worst”? Super fun, but it’s not my doing. Your job as a kid is twofold: be nice and do well in school. So, tackle that homework without the drama, please!

6. Engaging with Your Kids is Your Duty.

Honey, just because I gave birth doesn’t make me the sole caretaker of our kids. When you help with bedtime or take them off my hands for a bit, you’re not a superhero; you’re just being a parent.

7. Tie Your Own Shoes!

Since no one here is a toddler anymore, I think everyone can manage to tie their own shoes. If you trip over those untied laces, you’ll understand why it’s a must.

8. Reach Out to Your Own Parents.

I’m not the sole communicator in our family. If you want your parents to know about our lives, let them know yourself. And when they visit, it’s not a vacation for you. I’m happy to host, but you need to take care of your family too.

9. Filter Your Thoughts.

Kids, I love your expressiveness, but let’s keep some thoughts to ourselves. Saying things like “Mommy, you have a big tummy” or “This is the worst day ever!” isn’t necessary. I’ve got enough to deal with without your commentary.

10. Let Me Sleep!

If my eyes are closed, it’s a clear signal I’m trying to catch some z’s. I don’t do it often, but that doesn’t mean I don’t need it. Unless the house is on fire or there’s a true emergency, let me sleep. I’m a much nicer person after a good night’s rest!

So, while self-improvement is nice, maybe our only resolution should be giving ourselves a break. Parenting is tough, and you’re doing your best. Sure, your partner and kids would say the same, but they’re too busy trying to pick up after themselves!

For more insights on family dynamics and relationship management, check out our other post about terms and conditions here. And for those interested in home insemination, you can find valuable resources at Make A Mom as well as insights into fertility at UCSF.

Summary

This humorous take on New Year’s resolutions highlights the importance of shared responsibilities within the family. Instead of focusing solely on self-improvement, it’s time to encourage family members to step up and take responsibility for their actions. After all, parenting is about teamwork!