Every mom reaches a breaking point, often leading to unexpected measures that elicit the desired response. That was exactly the case during Christmas in 1983, when my five siblings and I were about to experience what I can only describe as Mother’s version of Shock and Awe.
Growing up, our personalities clashed like fireworks on the Fourth of July, and my mom found herself playing referee more times than she could count. Each of us passionately defended our perspectives, knowing that if my mom couldn’t decide who was right, we’d all end up in trouble.
On that fateful Christmas morning, Mom decided enough was enough. With the authority of a general, she declared that we wouldn’t touch our presents until we each said something nice about one another. The groans and eye-rolls that followed were of no consequence to her. Mom was ready to sit there all day if need be.
As she recounts, the compliments came in fits and starts, lacking any real enthusiasm. We barely glanced at one another, our eyes glued to the tantalizing gifts waiting in our laps. Eventually, Mom and Dad relented, allowing us to open our presents since we technically fulfilled her request.
But that wasn’t the end of her grand idea. The following year, she issued the same challenge, but this time she demanded genuine sincerity. We eagerly anticipated what each of us would say. By the third year, we were ready, having made a habit of noting kind deeds or noteworthy accomplishments throughout the year. When it was finally time for presents, we had more than one nice thing to share!
Over time, it became easier to be kind. Mom beamed with pride as she and Dad listened to our heartfelt words, hoping the good vibes would last just a bit longer before the next silly squabble broke out. I was 13 when this absurd tradition started, and now at 47, we still can’t unwrap gifts until we’ve said something nice about each other.
What began as a punishment has blossomed into a treasured family tradition. Our kind words have evolved to carry more weight, becoming the highlight of our Christmas gatherings. It’s the one moment we can all agree on!
This ritual gives us the opportunity to express what we often overlook during the year. It’s a moment filled with laughter, as inside jokes and fond memories are shared alongside sincere compliments. And yes, there are tears—not just from the recipient of the kind words, but often from the giver, overwhelmed by the love that binds our exuberant, loud family together. It’s a yearly reminder that, despite our differences, we are a strong unit that always has each other’s backs.
Now that we’re all grown with families of our own scattered across the country, we don’t argue as much anymore. We’ve learned to appreciate each other’s quirks. Maybe it’s because Mom taught us to focus on the good and overlook the annoyances. Perhaps it’s because she instilled in us the importance of genuine communication. Or maybe it’s simply that we discovered you can disagree yet still find reasons to offer heartfelt praise. Thanks, Mom.
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Summary:
A childhood punishment transformed into a cherished family tradition during Christmas, where members express sincere compliments before opening gifts. This yearly ritual has fostered stronger bonds and greater appreciation among family members, teaching valuable lessons about kindness and communication.