Holidays can be a whirlwind for kids on the autism spectrum. Toss in a few days off from school, a bustling crowd of relatives with loud voices, the aroma of holiday meals wafting through the air, and a mountain of food that may not be appealing due to sensory sensitivities, and you’ve got a potential recipe for chaos.
As a parent of two teenage sons with autism, I’ve navigated countless holiday gatherings. Christmas isn’t the most autism-friendly of holidays, but we’ve managed to find ways to keep our spirits up and our sanity intact. Here are some tips to help make your holiday season a bit brighter:
Arrive Early to Settle In
Get to your destination before the crowd arrives. This gives your child time to explore their new surroundings and find a comfortable spot. It can take my son a while to transition from the car to Grandma’s kitchen, so allowing extra time for this shift is crucial.
Bring Familiar Foods
Pack snacks or meals your child will actually eat. For us, that often means a plain fruit salad—no sauces or marshmallows, please! In the past, we’ve brought everything from lunch meat and rice crackers to homemade chicken nuggets. It might not be traditional holiday fare, but at least the boys are eating something they enjoy.
Offer to Host
Hosting may cost a bit more, but it often makes for a less stressful gathering. I prefer having holidays at home because I can keep an eye on my kids without worrying about them breaking Aunt Lucy’s beloved vase or wandering off. Plus, having familiar toys and games around can keep them occupied.
Pack Activities to Keep Kids Engaged
Bring along some games or a video game console, like our trusty Wii. While others mingle, my son finds comfort in familiar activities like playing Mario Kart. Without something engaging to do, he might resort to opening and closing doors—a noisy distraction for everyone!
Designate a Quiet Eating Area
Prepare for the possibility that your child might need to eat away from the hustle and bustle. Find a quieter spot for meals and downtime. I know a family whose boys would snack in the pantry during holiday meals—whatever works!
Maintain a Consistent Routine
With school out, routines can go haywire, which may increase anxiety. Try to stick to familiar schedules as much as possible. One holiday, I took my son for a quick drive to drop off recyclables—this was part of our regular Thursday routine, and it helped him feel more comfortable.
Communicate Your Needs
Let family and friends know what you need to make the day smoother. Whether it’s a quiet space or a little understanding when things get chaotic, most people are happy to help if they know what you require. It can feel daunting to ask for assistance, but it’s essential.
Hope for the Best, Prepare for the Worst
Sometimes, it’s best to leave a gathering before things get overwhelming. My husband and I have learned to recognize when we’re reaching our limit and need to head out. It’s better to leave before the kids are completely overwhelmed.
Practice Gratitude
No matter how hectic things get, take a moment to appreciate being together as a family. Be thankful for the little things—like nap time, a quiet moment, or that hilarious incident when your son snagged a roll from a relative’s plate without them noticing. Focus on the lighthearted moments, and don’t forget to treat yourself later with a little relaxation!
So, as you navigate the holiday season, remember to take it one step at a time. When the chaos subsides, pour yourself that glass of wine—you’ve earned it!
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Summary
Navigating the holidays with children on the autism spectrum can be challenging. By arriving early, bringing familiar foods, designating quiet spaces, and maintaining routines, you can help create a more enjoyable experience for everyone involved. Communication and gratitude can also go a long way in making the season a little brighter.