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I’m a Good Mom Even Though I Never Wanted Kids
We often tell our children, “You can be anything you want to be,” and while that’s a vital message that fills them with hope for the future, there’s another truth we need to share: “Life can throw you curveballs.”
That’s exactly what happened to me. Becoming a mom was never on my radar. I didn’t grow up dreaming of diaper changes and sleepless nights. The thought of nurturing another human being for the rest of my life just didn’t excite me. But then, life intervened.
Surprise! I got pregnant while on the pill. My world flipped upside down. And just when my husband and I thought we had figured out the best birth control (after the pill was a complete bust), I found out I was expecting our son. They’re only 355 days apart, by the way.
But amidst these unexpected twists, something remarkable occurred. Once I crossed the threshold into motherhood, I realized I was actually a pretty great mom. It had nothing to do with any maternal instincts I might have (because let’s be honest, I had none). Instead, it was about my daily commitment to being the best parent I could be. Sure, I have days where chaos reigns supreme and I mess up—often!—but that doesn’t define my worth as a mom. As long as you’re trying your best and showering your kids with love, you’re doing wonderfully.
We all know there are some truly awful parents out there, visible on the evening news and beyond. But being a good mom is a choice we all make. I could have easily chosen the route of neglect, given that parenting wasn’t even in my plans. I could’ve thrown up my hands and said, “Well, life dealt me a bad hand, so why bother?”
Many of us face challenges like failed birth control, toxic relationships, or difficult childhoods. Yet, we can choose to rise above our circumstances. We can seek help through therapy, parenting classes, and friendships that support us in our journey. Just because life throws us a curveball doesn’t mean we have to be bad parents.
My daughter and son were entrusted to me, and I made a conscious choice to be the best mother I could be, regardless of my initial hesitations. I’ve taught them to walk and talk, comfort them when they’re unwell, and cheer them on when they stumble. I give them countless hugs, help them learn to read, and ensure they have a warm home and decent meals—even if some of those meals end up on the floor.
I engage with their lives, listen to their stories, and encourage kindness and respect. I’m raising two amazing little humans, and I’m proud of that, despite my initial reluctance to take on this role. Through perseverance and a willingness to learn, I discovered that I was indeed being a mom—a good one, at that. And now, I genuinely cherish this role I’ve embraced.
Yes, life can be messy, but we have a choice in how we respond. We can either sulk about our situation or, as much as I hate to say it, bloom where we’re planted. We can take our circumstances and shape them into something beautiful, tackling challenges with as much joy as we can muster.
I want my kids to believe they can achieve anything they aspire to. I want them to know that life doesn’t always unfold as we envision, and in those moments, we must decide whether to give up or roll up our sleeves and do our best. It’s during those “life happens” moments that we discover our resilience, and ultimately, what kind of mothers we can be.
For those interested in exploring more about home insemination, check out this post on intracervical insemination. If you’re looking for more information on home insemination kits, Make A Mom is a fantastic resource. And for anyone considering the path of IVF, Healthline offers excellent information.
In summary, becoming a mom wasn’t part of my plan, but I’ve embraced the unexpected journey with open arms. We can all rise to the challenges life throws our way, and in doing so, we often discover our true strength.