I wear many hats—mom, partner, friend—but I’m also a bundle of emotions, a tad impatient, and bursting with empathy. I adore coffee and loathe yoga. Oh, and let’s be real: I have a bit of a potty mouth. Who am I kidding? I’m a fierce, unapologetic mom who swears like a sailor, and I have no intention of stopping. After all, I’m an adult, and I’ll say what I want.
There are countless mothers out there who are fed up with being told to “act like a lady” (really?). We simply want to embrace our true selves. Honestly, I’ve never grasped why so many folks get all worked up over a little swearing. Unless it’s malicious or hurtful, who’s really harmed by a well-timed “damn” or “hell”?
But as enjoyable as swearing is, not everyone is on board. There are some unspoken rules about cursing, and navigating them can be a bit tricky once you become a parent. However, we foul-mouthed moms form our own unique sisterhood, and it’s essential to support one another. So, here’s the Sass-Filled Mom’s Manual to Parenting:
You’ll be shocked when your kids learn to spell.
Many parents have been blindsided by kids who pick up spelling without any warning. You’ll soon reminisce about the blissful days when you could freely cuss without your little ones catching on. Kids are like tiny spies, always eavesdropping. They hear everything—and they’re quick to repeat it. So, brace yourself for an unexpected “what the heck” or “oh crap” in the most awkward situations. Just chuckle it off. Even the uptight parents can’t help but laugh when a toddler drops an F-bomb in a crowded store.
Teach your kids the dos and don’ts of swearing.
Since kids are notorious for mimicking everything, it’s crucial to instruct them on how and when to swear. Some parents enforce a strict “no swearing” policy, but I’m a fan of the “don’t be a jerk” and “don’t get caught” rules. If my kid wants to let out a few choice words when a Lego tower collapses, fine by me. But if I get a call from school about their language, they’ll be in deep trouble. Remember, if you’re going to swear, make it count and use it correctly. Nothing is worse than a misplaced curse, and making poop jokes isn’t always funny.
Avoid dropping an F-bomb at parent-teacher conferences.
Unless, of course, you want to earn the title of “that mom”—which might not be the worst thing.
Don’t let the pearl-clutchers ruin your fun.
Sadly, not everyone finds joy in tossing around words like “damn” and “heck.” You’ll encounter people whose delicate ears can’t handle a sprinkle of spice in conversation, and they’ll clutch their pearls at your every utterance. You have two choices: tone it down to keep them from ruining your vibe or ramp it up and see if they really do faint.
Swearing makes everything a bit easier.
Feeling like your brain is turning into that of a toddler after bingeing on cartoons? A little swearing will remind you that you’re a grown-up. Dealing with a toddler meltdown? Cuss your way through it, reminding yourself that you’re a total badass. If you’re having one of those weeks where everything goes wrong and your partner just called to say they’ll be late, and you realize you’re out of wine and chocolate, let it out! Swearing is like a hug, a pillow punch, and a pep talk all rolled into one. So, when you find yourself in one of those moments, reach out to a fellow Sass-Filled Mom and vent. Because, let’s be honest, swearing makes everything better.
This was originally published on Dec. 29, 2016. For more parenting wisdom, check out this post on our other blog.
Summary:
The Sass-Filled Mom’s Manual to Parenting embraces the unfiltered, raw aspects of motherhood, encouraging moms to freely express themselves through swearing. It highlights the challenges of parenting in a society that often frowns upon casual cursing while emphasizing the importance of camaraderie among mothers who share this experience. The article provides humorous insights on navigating the complexities of swearing in front of kids, teaching them about appropriate language, and finding joy in the chaos of motherhood.