Eight years ago, I found myself in a familiar situation, waiting for my older kids to be released from school with my rambunctious 2-year-old in tow. This time of day was a dreaded ritual; my little one transformed into a full-on brat, unable to grasp why I wouldn’t let him run wild and scream in the quiet hallway. How cruel of me, right?
“You need to be quiet and still. The kids are still learning,” I’d remind him, but it was like trying to tame a tornado. Though he rarely spoke back, his antics were a test of my patience, and those ten minutes felt like an eternity.
Then came the day he decided to use his words. Instead of wiggling free, he looked me dead in the eye and declared, “Mommy, I don’t like you.” Classic backtalk! Even though he was just a toddler, I was furious.
“Well, Mommy doesn’t like you either when you talk to me that way. I expect you to behave,” I replied, my tone firm. He paused, taken aback. Some might think I was too harsh, but I simply cannot abide backtalk—it’s like a switch flips in me.
Miraculously, his behavior improved after that little exchange; being told he wasn’t liked by his mother felt monumental (at least for that day). Of course, it didn’t last. Fast-forward eight years, and I find myself in the kitchen, hollering, “If you’re going to say something that makes you sound like a jerk, don’t say it!” I doubt my kids fully grasp this, especially when I’m fuming.
I have zero tolerance for disrespectful communication. They know better, and I take a no-nonsense approach. I believe we teach others how to treat us. While nobody is perfect, most people learn what they can get away with. Kids are no exception.
Ignoring their sass hasn’t worked for me; it only encourages them. In their minds, it signals that I’m okay with their disrespect, particularly in public. When I’ve tried to stay silent, things spiral out of control, making me look like I condone their behavior. So yes, I discipline them on the spot, even if that means getting right up in their faces and raising my voice.
They understand that if they treat me poorly, I will respond in kind. I’d rather deal with dirty looks from bystanders than allow them to speak to me or others like they’re trash. Respect is a two-way street.
When it comes to punishment, I transform into the Wicked Witch of the West, immediately confiscating privileges. Dessert, playdates, their favorite toys—nothing is off the table. Now, it’s screen time that gets hit the hardest; their beloved phones often end up in my possession for a day or two.
If they interrupt me while I’m asking them to do something they should already know, saying “I know, Mom!” is a surefire way to lose phone privileges for a week. I won’t lie: it’s tough to maintain this discipline. Sometimes I do feel guilty and want to return their phones, especially when they sweet-talk me with an “I love you so much, and I’m so sorry, Mom.” But generally, I stick to my guns, even if it makes me seem strict.
Despite the challenges, I recognize that they are just kids, exploring boundaries. I can relate; I backtalk too when I’m not at my best. However, I view this as part of the motherhood package, and I’m not giving it up anytime soon.
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In summary, while navigating the tumultuous waters of parenting can be challenging, setting clear boundaries and maintaining consistency is essential. My kids may push back, but they know the rules—and that I mean business.