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9 Insights I Gained from Pumping at Work
Before I became a mom, my knowledge about breast milk was, let’s say, pretty basic. I had no idea milk could flow from multiple openings, nor did I understand the logistics of pumping. The thought of using a pump at work was anxiety-inducing, and I often tuned out conversations about it. Fast forward to now, and I’m fully immersed in the pumping experience after returning to work a month ago. Here are my revelations from this new chapter:
- Milk Spills are Inevitable
No matter how careful you are, milk will find its way onto your leg. Whether it’s from the bags not sealing correctly or from a hasty removal of the pump funnel, expect some dairy drama. Pro tip: wear pants that can hide the evidence. - Undressing at Work is a Thrill
Taking off your top at work feels a little rebellious at first. But after a few days of this routine, you’ll find yourself more concerned about avoiding makeup stains on your shirt than feeling wild and free. - Hospital-Grade Pumps are a Game Changer
If you can, ask your employer for a hospital-grade pump. While regular pumps are around $400 (thanks to Obamacare, this should be free), the pricier hospital models, costing about $2,000, are like a spa day for your breasts. The first time I connected to one, I literally thought, “like butta.” I even texted my fellow pumping moms, reiterating that phrase like a true poet. - Sharing a Mini Fridge is a Throwback
Having to label your pumped milk in a shared mini fridge feels like college all over again—except now, instead of wine and snacks, it’s breast milk and snacks. Different, yet oddly the same. - Sad Salads and Pumping Don’t Mix
Eating a dry salad while hooked up to a pump is a new level of sad. It’s a whole mood that makes you feel like a dairy cow. Kale for the win, I guess. - Pumping is Your Get-Out-of-Jail-Free Card
Saying, “I need to pump” can get you out of just about anything. I haven’t fully exploited this power yet, but trust me, people will clear the way quicker than for a fire drill. - Stop Feeling Lucky about Pumping Rooms
If you’re fortunate enough to have a designated pumping area, don’t let that make you feel privileged. It should be standard everywhere. Pumping in a bathroom? How does that even work? Seriously, if your workplace lacks a proper pumping room, advocate for one! - “Tits-Out Party Time” is Not Acceptable
When someone asks where you’re headed, don’t say, “Tits-out party time.” I tried that once, and the awkwardness was palpable. Instead, I’ve gone with, “I’m off to express milk,” which also lands awkwardly. - Let’s Normalize Pumping at Work
It’s a bit strange for everyone, and yes, it’s weird for me too. But silence keeps it weird. By talking about it, we can help future moms feel less uncomfortable. So let’s embrace the weirdness together!
For more insights into the world of home insemination and related topics, check out this interesting blog post. If you’re considering at-home options, Make a Mom is a reliable resource. And for additional information about fertility, Science Daily has you covered.
Summary: Pumping at work can be a wild ride filled with unexpected spills, awkward moments, and a touch of rebellion. By sharing experiences and advocating for better facilities, we can help normalize this crucial aspect of motherhood in the workplace.