Dear Children,

home insemination Kit

I adore you endlessly, and I would move mountains to keep you happy. Just think of all the countless hours I’ve spent tending to your needs, including those less-than-glamorous moments of wiping up after you. And yes, there’s one of you (not naming names, but you know who you are) who still needs help after doing the business in the bathroom.

Speaking of bathrooms, I work hard to keep that place spotless. You probably don’t notice it, but a clean bathroom is one of those things that only gets appreciated when it’s not up to par. So, as much as I love you and this little loo of ours, it’s time to step up your game when it comes to bathroom etiquette.

Here’s a straightforward list of rules that you should start following right away (and hey, Dad, you might want to pay attention too):

1. The toilet paper belongs on the holder, not on the floor. It’s not that difficult! Just put it back where it belongs.
2. Check for pee droplets. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve found little splashes on the floor or seat. Use your eyes! If you see it, clean it up, or better yet, aim properly.
3. Please flush the toilet. I know one of you claims the sound scares you, but let’s be real — you’ve survived way louder noises playing video games. Leaving a big surprise in the bowl for someone else isn’t cool.
4. Toilet paper doesn’t magically replace itself. We’re lucky to have a steady supply, so every once in a while, do your part and swap out the roll when it’s empty.
5. Close the lid! Flushing with the seat up sends all kinds of nasty particles flying through the air. Trust me, the lid is there for a reason.
6. The bathroom is not your personal retreat. I understand that sitting there can feel like a mini-vacation, but we all need to use it, so don’t take forever!
7. Wash your hands properly. Splashing them under the faucet won’t cut it. Use soap, scrub, and sing a little tune if you have to — just get them clean!
8. Air freshener is your friend. Let’s be honest, not all of your bathroom visits leave the air smelling like daisies. A quick spritz can save us all from an unpleasant experience.

So there you have it! With this handy list, I’m counting on you to help keep our bathroom a pleasant space. Oh, and one last request: when your favorite female in the household retreats to the bathroom and says, “I’ll be just a minute,” please give her some peace! Honestly, if you just let me have a moment alone, you can get away with a lot of the other things on this list.

Let’s make this a New Year’s resolution, shall we?

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Summary: In this humorous guide, we tackle the essential rules of bathroom etiquette for kids. From flushing the toilet to washing hands properly, it’s time for the young ones (and some adults) to step up their bathroom game. By following these simple rules, we can keep our shared space clean and pleasant for everyone.