“Life can be a challenge sometimes, don’t you think?” my friend texted me last week.
“Absolutely,” I replied.
We had been trying to coordinate a get-together for the weekend, but our kids’ activities and packed schedules just wouldn’t allow it. I miss hanging out with her, and it’s clear she feels the same way. Disappointment is a shared theme in our lives — life can be tough sometimes.
This morning, I woke up to a dripping sink. The shower door decided to throw a tantrum and came unhinged. One of my dogs, bless their heart, had an unfortunate accident all over my son’s piano book. Meanwhile, the other pup (or possibly the first one?) made a mess across the living room, dining room, kitchen, and family room. Our morning turned into a chaotic dash as we rushed to drop the kids off at school, filled with quick goodbyes. I’ve been teetering on the edge of tears all day for reasons I can’t quite pin down. Some days just hit harder.
“Parenting is no picnic,” a friend texted me this afternoon. “I feel like I’ve jumped off a parenting cliff without a safety net.”
“Story of my life,” I replied.
The questions and uncertainties can be relentless. Are the kids sleeping enough? Are we reading enough together? Is there an age limit on blankies and thumb-sucking? Should I let my son join the football team? Are they involved in too many activities, or not enough? Each new stage of their lives feels like I’m leaping into the unknown. Most days, I’m convinced I’m falling short. Parenting is tough sometimes.
It’s not just parenting. Friendships are challenging. Relationships can be demanding. Work can be overwhelming. Life? Yep, it can be hard. Sometimes it’s all just a bit much.
I realize that by simply stating, “Life is hard,” I’m stepping into murky waters. It’s not the most popular sentiment. We prefer to project that everything is fine. It’s easier to discuss struggles after we’ve emerged victorious. We share stories of hardship once we’re on the other side.
But what about when we’re still in the thick of it? When we’re weighed down by our burdens, still feeling lost? Where are the “me too” moments during those times?
When I’m stuck in that downward spiral of self-doubt, fear, and frustration, I often tell myself the biggest lie: “It’s just you. You’re all alone.”
Many of life’s most significant experiences are challenging. Parenting is tough. Maintaining a marriage can be a balancing act, especially with young children. Keeping up with friendships can feel awkward and inconvenient, especially if there’s distance involved. Even just being an adult can be brutally hard sometimes.
The most beautiful aspects of life — parenting, marriage, friendship — have their gritty sides. Ignoring the challenges doesn’t benefit anyone. Acknowledging the struggle doesn’t lessen the beauty or meaning; it simply adds depth to our experiences.
Every day, I’m reminded of life’s richness and beauty, even when I’m having a rough time. I’m grateful for my children, even when parenting feels like navigating a minefield. I appreciate my husband, family, and friends, even when the busyness of life makes connection complicated.
Tonight, I was texting with my friend about our attempts to meet up. Being about 1,000 miles apart, combined with everyday life, makes it difficult. We both agreed that yes, life can be really tough sometimes. It’s not always easy to admit that when we’re in the thick of it. We even chatted about planning a girls’ weekend soon.
“Noodle salad!” I texted, referencing that classic line from As Good as It Gets. In the film, Jack Nicholson’s character quips, “Some of us have great stories, pretty stories that take place at lakes with boats and friends and noodle salad. Just no one in this car.” We had watched that movie nearly 20 years ago at my grandparents’ lake house — boats, friends, and noodle salad galore.
The reality is, sometimes life is hard. Sometimes everything feels overwhelming. But other times, it’s filled with beautiful experiences. Often, it’s a mix of both, because the most valuable things in life are rarely easy.
Maybe the key is to find joy amid the chaos, to create good times even when we feel like we’re diving off a cliff. Perhaps it’s about enjoying noodle salad, even if it’s too mayo-heavy and the noodles are mushy, while our kids scream for pizza. And by “noodle salad,” I’m really talking about savoring cookie dough and wine while texting a friend about how overwhelming life can be sometimes.
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Summary
Life can be tough, and we all experience challenges, from parenting to relationships to just being an adult. Acknowledging the hard times doesn’t diminish the beauty of life; rather, it deepens our experiences. Embracing the chaos and finding joy in the little moments, like enjoying noodle salad (or cookie dough), can help us through the toughest days.