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Hey Mamas, Let’s Talk About That ‘Cleanse’
Hey there, Mamas!
I get it; we all tried to maintain some semblance of normal during the holiday feasting frenzy. But can we please agree to skip the cleanse?
Let’s face it: humans are designed to enjoy food, and gulping down kale and lemon juice for five days isn’t exactly what I’d call a meal. Trust me, I’ve been there. The last time I attempted something like that, I found myself eyeing the dog biscuits at the gas station. If you’re considering munching on a dog treat, something is definitely off, right?
As caregivers, we are the ones preparing meals for our little ones, navigating grocery store aisles filled with the mouthwatering aroma of rotisserie chickens and baked goods. We spend hours crafting grocery lists and scouring Pinterest for new, exciting recipes to ensure our kids eat well.
Think you’re passionate about food now? Just wait until you embark on a cleanse. By day two, you might just want to make out with that corn dog your kid is waving around at dinner while you stare at your green concoction. Your dreams will turn into visions of cheeseburgers, and you’ll find yourself daydreaming about devouring chocolate cake over the sink. Once you start depriving yourself of food, that relationship becomes complicated, and you’ll find yourself craving chips for ages.
Sure, the claims about cleanses boosting energy, enhancing your skin’s glow, and aiding weight loss sound appealing. But the reality? You’ll have the energy to snap at anyone who dares to mention food, your face will glow red from frustration, and yes, you might lose weight—right before you gain it all back when you finally bite into a carrot stick.
Life as a mom is already challenging—why add self-inflicted hunger to the mix? Our bodies are meant for nurturing, chasing after tiny humans, and maintaining some clarity. They’re definitely not built to drop 30 pounds in a week, nor do we have the time to be glued to the toilet. We’re programmed to finish off those crusts from our kids’ peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and to sneak bites while cooking dinner with a glass of wine in hand. Who else is going to test the macaroni and cheese for doneness?
Let’s celebrate the beauty of women enjoying food in all its forms, whether you’re gluten-free, vegan, or just living your best life with no restrictions. So let’s ditch the cleanse. Don’t succumb to pressure; it’s just not a smart move. Food is meant to be savored, and we deserve to feel sane—not eyeing dog biscuits hungrily.
Yes, we can tackle tough challenges, but giving up eating for a week isn’t one of them. So if someone suggests a cleanse, kindly decline, wish them well, and dig into a juicy steak, grateful you won’t need a Costco-sized tub of Tucks pads.
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Summary:
In this humorous take, we discuss the absurdity of cleanses, highlighting how they can lead to unhealthy relationships with food. Mamas are encouraged to embrace food enjoyment and reject the pressure to cleanse, all while managing the challenges of motherhood.